


Forgotten

by Writesalott



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Malec, Memory Loss, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9526763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writesalott/pseuds/Writesalott
Summary: His life had been nothing but happiness since Alec moved in with Magnus but one day all that changed. Why is Magnus surprised to see a shadowhunter in his apartment? Hoping its a joke, Alec tries to explain but it doesn't take long for Alec to realize the love of his life doesn't have a clue who he is. (Canon Universe, Set after CoHF Epilouge) Beta on fanfic: Allieanna





	1. Intruder

Alexander Lightwood loved living with his boyfriend, Magnus Bane. Though he's been living with the High Warlock of Brooklyn for years now, the simple joy of living with the man he loved still brought a smile to his face. Sometimes, Alec thought about marrying Magnus and raising a family with him, but he wasn't sure that's what Magnus wanted. The idea of proposing to Magnus had crossed his mind more than once, but Alec had yet to get up the nerve to say the words. When Alec realized he was gay, he accepted that kids and marriage were out of his reach forever, but by some miracle Magnus Bane entered his life, and everything had changed. Alec had come out of the closet for Magnus, and in some ways, that had made things harder, but Alec had never once regretted the decision. His parents had come around eventually and a great burden had been lifted from Alec's shoulders. Now with Magnus, Alec felt like anything was possible, even marriage and children.

The only cloud left in Alec's grey sky was Magnus's immortality. He knew he wasn't rational to want to be the only love for a man who had lived for almost four hundred years, and even less rational to want that man to never love again, but Alec couldn't help but feel like a notch in Magnus's belt when he thought about the lovers before and after him. In the end, they had both agreed to disagree about the nature of mortality. If Magnus hadn't been born a warlock, he would never had been alive when Alec was born, and thus they never would have meet. They were who they were, immortal warlock and twenty one year old warrior, and that wasn't going to change. Magnus didn't want to be mortal and Alec wasn't willing to become a vampire to be immortal with Magnus. Every couple only has the time they have, and Magnus and Alec were no exception. They had learned to accept this, even though it would mean that one day Alec would sit next to his lover and have it appear as if his love was his great-grandson. Alec loved Magnus far too much to be without him. He had literally followed Magnus into hell before, and Alec would do it again tomorrow if it meant saving the warlock's life. This was just the way it was and that was that.

Alec sighed. He had been lying on his couch for the last half hour, anxious for Magnus to return home. Magnus had left that morning to see a client, then said he had errands to run. Alec wasn't worried for his safety, after all he was very capable of taking care of himself, but he was worried nonetheless. An image appeared in Alec's mind of Magnus pale, losing blood with a knife wound in his chest. Magnus weak and tired, running low on magic. Alec shook it off. They had been through too many wars together for Alec not to worry. Two of the biggest wars in Shadowhunter history. Running errands was not the same thing. Even so, Alec missed Magnus, having not seen him since that morning. Alec realized this was just slightly clingy, but he didn't have to tell Magnus how needy he was when the warlock returned home. Alec was thinking of sending a fire message but dithered back and forth about if it was really necessary. Magnus wasn't even late home yet. What was Alec so wound up? Just then the door opened, Alec looked up and Magnus was there. A joyful smile spread over Alec's face as he leapt off the couch and crossed the room quickly. He was about to kiss Magnus hello and ask about his day when the warlock's surprised expression stopped him. Magnus took a step back as if Alec was a stranger.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" Magnus asked. Alec just gaped, open mouthed at Magnus. Was he joking?

"It's me Magnus," Alec said softly.

"I do not run a hotel," Magnus said, casually as he closed the door with a snap of his fingers. "You nephilim have a Institute for sanctuary. You don't need to crash at the High Warlock's loft."

"I live here," Alec said, uncertainly. He was starting to freak out. If this was a joke Magnus was taking it way too far.

"I think I would know if one of the Nephilim was living with me," Magnus said, his voice still light and neutral.

"You asked me to move in," Alec replied confused.

"Ha!" Magnus scoffed. "You are a knockout boy but there is more to life than looks, I assure you." Alec had no idea what was going on. Magnus wasn't even looking at him. It was like Alec truly was a stranger to him. Magnus's cool gaze looked Alec over once. Alec was reminded of the day he'd first met Magnus, the day Magnus had showed him attention over Izzy and Jace, but this was so wrong. Magnus wasn't seeing him, Magnus was just seeing Alec's body.

"Stop looking at me like that," Alec said curtly. He just couldn't handle the shallowness of Magnus's gaze.

"Spoil sport," Magnus grumbled. "You have amazing eyes."

"Yeah I know," Alec said. "But quit it!"

"Very well," Magnus said. "But really you should leave. I am not totally sure how you got in."

"I LIVE HERE!" Alec yelled back. His heart was racing and his mind was in a whirl. It felt like Magnus wasn't here; even though Magnus was standing right in front of him.

"Yes you already said that," Magnus replied. "Though I am not sure why."

"Where were you today?" Alec asked. Magnus turned away from Alec and toward his desk which was closer to the centre of the large living area.

"Why should I tell you?" Magnus replied as he sat down at his desk and started going through his things. Magnus picked up a few things then seemed to look around for items that were missing. "What happened!" he yelled suddenly as he further explored his workspace. "Half my stuff is gone! Are you a thief and a gate crasher?"

"We organized your desk last month," Alec answered. Magnus's word hurt. Every time the warlock address him so casually it was like a knife to the heart. Magnus was muttering under his breath now, what Alec could only guess where swear words under and he thought he caught the phrase, 'I had a system,' as well.

At this point Alec was full on panicking. The Magnus in front of him didn't know who he was. Alec tried to convince himself this was fixable. He tried not to think of everything Simon was having to do at the Shadowhunters Academy to get his memories back. Alec tried not to remember all the times demons had taken his memories as payment for services rendered. Alec took a few deep breaths and tried to make himself believe that there was hope. He moved closer to Magnus, placing a hand on Magnus's shoulder, then turning the warlock to face Alec, and placing his other hand on Magnus's opposite shoulder.

Alec looked Magnus in the eyes and said as sincerely as he could, "Please, Magnus, please tell me you know who I am." Alec could hear the pleading edge to his voice.

"Well you're a Shadowhunter," Magnus said, jerking out of Alec's touch. "And a Herondale probably." Alec suddenly saw in Magnus's eyes-the years of mistreatment from shadowhunters-and marvelled for a moment at how Magnus had fallen in love with Alec in the first place.

"Lightwood," Alec answered automatically.

"With those eyes?" Magnus laughed. "If you say so."

His miracle was shattered. Alec could feel the tears forming in his eyes, but tried to push them back. That was the last thing he needed right now. Alec was not going to give up hope just like that. He knew if their roles were reversed Magnus wouldn't give up on him. But he needed help. Alec got out his phone and dialed Caterina's phone number. He thought of calling Tessa, but she and Jem were off on their honeymoon, and besides, Caterina knew more about healing magic. Alec paced back and forth behind Magnus's desk, as the phone rang.

"Why are you still here?" Magnus whined. "I have a desk to de-organize." Alec ignored him.

"Oh, Alec," Caterina's voice came over his cell phone. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Something is wrong with Magnus," Alec said in a frantic tone.

"Is he alright?" Caterina asked. The casual air to her voice was gone, replaced with the same tone she used at the hospital when her patients were in trouble.

"Physically he's fine," Alec replied. "But, Caterina he doesn't know who I am."

"What!" she sounded even more surprised than Alec. After all, it had been Caterina who had convinced Magnus to follow Alec to Alicante and get back together. Never mind the fact that Magnus's attempt to do this had gotten him imprisoned in a hell dimension.

"Please-" Alec began but he didn't need to say more. Over the last few years Alec had grown quite fond of Caterina. She had become his friend as well as Magnus's.

"I'll be right over," Caterina replied and the phone went quiet. Alec took a few more deep breaths. Fighting for his life was second nature to him. Combat and protecting others in a battle he knew how to do, but this was new and scary. Alec felt as if the ground under him was crumbling to pieces but if anyone could figure out what was going on, it was Caterina.

Alec wanted to laugh as his next thought occurred to him. At the moment, the one person Alec wanted to comfort him was Magnus, and though Magnus sat at his desk just mere feet from him, Alec had never felt so alone.

"Did I hear you right?" Magnus asked as he turned away from his desk. "You said Caterina?"

"Yes," Alec answered. "She's a friend of mine."

"Are we talking about the same Caterina?" Magnus asked. "The warlock with blue skin."

"Yes," Alec replied. "We are good friends. You introduced us."

"If Ragnor was still around I would suspect he and Caterina were plotting to make a fool of me," Magnus said thoughtfully. Alec couldn't help but note that Magnus remembered his friend was dead even though it happened during a war in which Magnus fought at Alec's side. How would Magnus remember some things and not others? Alec didn't reply and Magnus continued. "Either way, time for you to leave. I have no time for free-loading Nephilim. Not even hot ones. Out."

Alec wanted to punch Magnus, but he also wanted to burst into tears and collapse into Magnus's arms.

"I live here," Alec said firmly.

"No you don't!" Magnus replied in a similar tone. Alec was just barely holding back his tears, and for a moment Magnus looked at him with the strangest expression. "What's wrong?"

"Have you thought once since you got here about why I might be living with you?" Alec asked. Just saying 'we are dating you prat' didn't quite feel right and telling Magnus 'I love you' felt cheap somehow knowing Magnus couldn't understand the meaning behind it.

"Well you are hot," Magnus said swavely. "Maybe that's why." He winked, and again Alec was reminded of the day he met Magnus, and the way Magnus had winked at him when he'd told Alec to call him. Despite the strange feeling of having Magnus only look at him based on his physical appearance, there was something comforting in Magnus checking him out. That was how their love had began, with Magnus's plainant unhindered interest in Alec. His Magnus had to be in there somewhere.

Alec was still struggling with what to say when a portal appeared in the living room. Caterina stepped out with her sky blue skin and shock of white hair, and Alec had never in all his life been happier to see her.

"Thank the angel!" Alec sighed as he went over to her.

"What happened?" she asked Alec urgently, but before Alec could do more than opened his mouth to explain, Magnus interrupted her.

"I came home to find this," Magnus jabbed his finger at Alec. "Nephilim gate crasher. He says he lives here." Magnus's tone quieted and he added, "It is weird that he knows you though."

"Oh, wow," Caterina said in disbelief as she gazed wide-eyed at Magnus.

"I told you!" Alec replied. He was starting to feel just a little better. Caterina being here and seeing the same thing he was made him feel like it wasn't all just in his head, like he hadn't imagined an epic love story with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

"Oh great," Magnus said, sarcastically rolling his eyes. He walked off and vanished into his bedroom.

"When did this happen?" Caterina asked.

"I don't know," Alec said. "I mean he was fine this morning but when he got home tonight... Please tell me you can fix this or at least explain it."

"I know of some temporary memory loss spells," Caterina said. "And some permanent ones but there could have been a million reasons why. I will need to examine him."

Before Alec could reply, Magnus reappeared holding up Alec's bow and quiver in defiance.

"How long have you been gatecrashing Nephilim!" Magnus said waving the bow and quiver in the air. "There are sweaters with holes in them! HOLES! In my closet!"

Alec couldn't hold back the tears anymore. They rolled freely down his face and he felt the familiar brush of Chairman Meow's side against his leg. Alec leaned down and stroked the cat, unable to think or feel anything but hurt. Alec focused on his cat and the motion of stroking his fur. Alec wasn't sure when he had started to think of Chairmen as his cat and not Magnus's cat. It was just one of those things that crept up on you when you lived with someone you loved.

"MAGNUS BANE!" Caterina yelled at him and Magnus yipped like a beaten puppy. Caterina never yelled. "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!"

And Magnus sat, staring up at her with the strangest look in his eyes. Was it fear? No, more like betrayal. Caterina placed her hands on Magnus's head and Alec saw her blue healing magic start to slow. Alec waited, barely able to breathe. When she finally removed her hands a few minutes later, she hung her head and Alec's heart sank.

"What's wrong?" Alec asked anxiously, getting up quickly, from where he'd been sitting petting the cat, and running to her side.

"Alec," Caterina said sadly. She turned away from Magnus as if he wasn't there and focused on Alec. "I don't know why or how, but Magnus's memories have been taken. Very specific memories." Alec could guess which memories specifically but he didn't want her to say it; he didn't want it to be real.

"It's temporary right?" Alec pleaded. "It will wear off soon."

Caterina shook her head. "It appears to me as if they were taken as payment for something. I know many demons ask for happy memories as reimbursement." She paused for a second then yelled, "But Magnus knows better than to get caught up in that!"

"Can we get them back?" Alec asked.

"I don't know," Caterina said. "Normally I would ask Magnus but…"

"I am still here," Magnus grumbled.

"Yes and no," Caterina replied. "My friend Magnus Bane would know why Alec is here."

"So, you are saying I shouldn't be surprised that I'm living with a Shadowhunter?"

"No," Caterina replied. "This shadowhunter has gone to hell and back for you, you ungrateful warlock!"

"Which hell?" Magnus inquired. "Because some are far worse than others."

"Edom!" Caterina spat at Magnus. "This is just insane. He's even more annoying than before."

"What memories specifically?" Alec asked. He was sure what her answer would be, but he realized he needed to hear it. There was no time for denial; it was real either way.

"Memories of you, Alec," Caterina said sadly. "He only lost his memories of you."

"That's what I thought," Alec whispered to on one in particular. Had Magnus willingly traded his love for Alec away? The idea felt like a knife in Alec's heart.

"Why are you acting like someone died!" Magnus complained. "This is all just a bit on the dramatic side don't you think." Magnus paused, and when no one spoke he continued. "I don't understand why memories of him would be valuable enough for a demon to ask for them as payment. They are picky about the memories they ask for."

"Memories of the greatest love of your life for instance," Caterina said coolly.

"Huh?" Magnus asked.

"You love him, Magnus," Caterina almost pleaded with her friend. "More than I've ever seen you love anyone before."

"Him?" Magnus asked again pointing at Alec but looking at Caterina.

"Yes," she confirmed. Magnus seemed taken aback by the conviction in her voice. He turned to watch Alec again.

"He looks like Will," Magnus said as he moved closer to Alec, as if studying him. Alec didn't like this observation one bit. Being compared to Will Herondale, even if he knew Magnus and Will were never a couple, was not a pleasant feeling.

"He is nothing like Will," Caterina said.

"How do they look so similar then?" Magnus asked.

"Will's sister married into the Lightwood family," Caterina explained. "Recessive blue eyes."

"Ah that makes sense," Magnus concluded. "Genetics are rather intriguing aren't they."

"Is that all you have to say?" Alec demanded. He was suddenly furious. He wasn't sure if he was mad at Magnus or not, but he knew he would have loved to sink an arrow into something right now.

"Actually no," Magnus said then added almost academically, as if solving a puzzle. "If you love me then you must know me." He snapped his fingers and a deck of flash cards appeared in his hands. "Pop quiz. Which country am I banned from?"

"Peru," Alec answered quickly.

"That was an easy one I have to admit," Magnus replied. "But do you know who we were talking about just now?"

"William Herondale," Alec answered mechanically trying to quell his anger. "A Shadowhunter who thought he'd been cursed by a demon so all the people who loved him died. You helped him about hundred and thirty years ago. It turned out the curse was a fake." He had memorized the contents of Magnus's journals years ago. "You kissed him once to make Camille jealous because she'd cheated on you with some Russians."

"Fine then, but I bet you don't know how old I am," Magnus grinned.

Tiring of Magnus's games, Alec decided to end them. "You were born in Indonesia in the early 1600s," Alec said. "Your father is a prince of hell named Asmodeus, who I have met by the way, not a nice guy. Your mother, who was half-Dutch half-Indonesian, hung herself in your barn when you were ten. You still have a piece of the rope she used in a small box hidden in your office. Your mother wasn't gone long before your step-father tried to drown you. You killed him in self defense and ran away. The Silent Brothers in Spain, took you in after that until you were seventeen, at which point you decided to start chronically lying about your age to sell your magic. Since no, you are not as old as the dead sea! I could give you a detailed account of all your ex's and your disastrous adventures in Peru, none of which got you barred from the country by the High Council of Peruvian Warlocks, but I think you get the idea."

Alec paused for only a second before, walking closer to Magnus and plucking the card out of his hand. "And I know these are blank. You did always have a flare for the dramatic."

Magnus stood staring at Alec with new eyes. He looked like he was in shock. Alec remember how private Magnus had been about his past and wondered if maybe he'd gone too far.

"How?" Magnus mouthed, as if unable to speak.

"Everything I know about you," Alec spoke softly, his angry evaporating. "I learned from your lips."

Magnus crumbled in defeat as he sank into his desk chair. "I've lost my memories," Magnus whispered as if only now believing them. Alec couldn't bear seeing Magnus look so defeated. His heart ached to pull Magnus into his arms and comfort him.

"I am going to retrace Magnus's steps today," Caterina said. "You said he was normal this morning, Alec?"

"Yes," Alec replied.

"Alright then," Caterina said, busy-like then she turned to glare at her friend. "Now Magnus!" she said in a motherly scolding tone. "Be nice to Alec while I'm gone or else." Magnus rolled his eyes, but his expression didn't change otherwise; he still looked a little lost.

"I will be back as soon as I know something," Caterina said before she opened another portal and vanished through it. There was silence in the wake of Caterina's departure.

"It's funny," Alec said in a humorless voice when he could bare the quiet no more. "I miss Magnus."

"I'm right here," Magnus complained.

"Yes and no," Alec answered. "If my Magnus was here, I could kiss him."

"You could kiss me," Magnus suggested, casually. Alec arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be our first kiss from my perspective, but why not."

"Why not," Alec mused. "Let's see. Because it would mean something different for me than you, and I don't think I can handle that right now."

"It's just a kiss," Magnus waved his hand as if it were nothing. "What does it matter."

"It matters because the love of my life came home to me today and looked right through me," Alec answered. "Like I wasn't there. Imagine for a moment what that feels like."

An old pain spread over Magnus's face. "Camille," he said softly. "She used to look through me."

"Yes, I know," Alec replied. "She was a piece of work." Alec was still to this day a little bitter, he'd been denied the opportunity to kill her.

"Is there anything you don't know about me?" Magnus asked a little awed.

"Not sure," Alec answered. "Four hundred years is a long time."

"I don't tell people about my past," Magnus said as he got up out of his desk chair and headed to the couch. He collapsed into it as if his legs could not bare his weight, and he needed the support.

"I know that too," Alec said, following Magnus's lead and sitting next to him on the sofa, though not close enough for them to touch. They sat in silence for a moment, all the while, Alec fought the urge to move closer to Magnus, to hold him and be held by him.

"So few people really know me," Magnus whispered after a moment. "I don't ever open up like that, not even with the people I love."

"Camille knew quite a lot about you," Alec said, unable to keep his emotions in check.

"She knew of me before she knew me," Magnus replied. "We met at a diplomatic dinner. And I was younger then. Foolishly wearing my heart on my sleeve, or at least pretending to."

"You didn't want to talk to me about your past for the longest time," Alec explained. "It took us both almost dying together in hell for you to finally open up to me."

"I remember that," Magnus said. Alec's heart leapt before he added. "Being imprisoned by my father that is."

"Do you remember who came to save you?" Alec asked.

"I-" Magnus started. "Clary I think."

"It was me," Alec said with a sigh. "But Clary was there too I suppose." Alec's hope had been fleeting and was now thoroughly squashed.

"You came to help Clary?" Magnus asked.

"I came to save you," Alec answered.

"This just all seems so insane!" Magnus exclaimed, standing up, moving a few steps away, then running his hands through his hair. "You know enough about my past to make me panic. You claim to love me, but I don't remember you!"

"Magnus," Alec whispered so softly it was barely audible. Alec stood up and walked over to Magnus, taking both Magnus's hands in his. Screw protecting himself. Alec knew there was no getting over Magnus Bane. If they couldn't fix this, he would be broken and that was just a fact.

"I remember you," Alec whispered. "I love you. It isn't a claim, a trick, or a lie."

"I don't know you," Magnus spoke softly, but he didn't break their gaze or pull his hand away, which Alec tried to take as a good sign.

"Please get to know me again," Alec smiled. "Because I love you and I don't ever want to lose you."

"Haven't you already lost me?" Magnus asked. "The me that loved you, I mean."

"I got you to fall in love with me once," Alec answered. "I think I can do it again." Hope was rising in Alec's chest faster than he could control it. Alec leaned in closer, watching Magnus's face as he did so. Magnus didn't seem opposed to it, so Alec moved an inch closer and pressed his lips against Magnus's. It may have only been that morning since Alec had last kissed Magnus, but with all the pain and confusion since then it felt like an eternity. Alec pulled Magnus closer to him by the collar of his shirt. Magnus's lips responded to him, but his body was rigid. Alec took this as a bad sign and pulled back, but as he did so, Magnus moved forward, as if unwilling to be released. With a smile, Alec deepened their kiss.

"Hmmmm," Magnus sighed, his eyes closed. "You're good at that."

"Learned from the best," Alec replied grinning.

"Oh? And who might the best be?" Magnus asked, opening his eyes. Alec traced the side of Magnus's face slowly, gazing unblinkingly into those cat-eyes he loved.

"You might know him," Alec said smiling. "Loves glitter, spikes his hair and has the most strikingly beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"I taught you to kiss?" Magnus asked, skeptically.

"My first kiss was right over there," Alec said, pointing to the front door of Magnus's apartment. "With you."

"I was your first kiss?" Magnus asked again with disbelief.

"First, second, third," Alec said. "Hundredth, and the only person I've ever kissed, or ever want to kiss."

"How old are you?" Magnus asked.

"Twenty," Alec replied. "But we met when I was seventeen."

"Ah," Magnus said knowingly. "Did I steal your innocence?"

"Maybe," Alec chuckled. He leaned in and kissed Magnus again, the hope that they could get back what they once had was burning brightly in his chest now. This time Magnus seemed more relaxed. He wrapped his arms around Alec, and returned his kiss with passion. Alec didn't realize Magnus was moving them backwards until his legs hit the back of the couch. Alec collapsed onto the couch as Magnus climbed on top of him.

"Magnus," Alec moaned as the warlock started to kiss his neck. He was still Magnus, even if his memories of Alec were gone. He still made Alec's skin tingle and his heart pound, but this wasn't his Magnus. It took all of Alec's self control to pulled away, panting.

"Oh, taking back all your declarations of love?" Magnus scoffed as they separated.

"You are kinda an ass when you don't love me," Alec commented. The kiss had changed nothing.

"I have known Nephilim for a long long time," Magnus replied standing up. "I was alive-"

"Before the accords, yes, I know," Alec sighed, frustrated he repeated in a bored voice. "You once sat and ate with Shadowhunters to talk peace, then those same Shadowhunters threw away the plate you ate off because you had irredeemably tainted them with your downworlder-ness or whatever." Magnus just stared at him, again speechless.

"Magnus," Alec said patiently. "Not every Nephilim are like that. You accepted me for me. How could I not do the same?"

"You're saying that your Shadowhunter parents don't care that you are," he gestured to the room before he added. "Apparently living with a downworlder?"

"Oh, it was me dating a man that truly confused them," Alec laughed. "Then I was super badass and saved the world, so they had to suck it up and leave me alone." To Alec's surprise Magnus laughed.

"You certainly are different for a nephilim," Magnus conceded.

"Thanks," Alec said tentatively.

"And my eyes are not stunning by the way," Magnus said. Alec could see the insecurity he'd come to recognize as Magnus's dislike of his warlock mark.

"They are to me," Alec replied. Magnus gave Alec a strange look, but before Alec could decipher it, Chairman Meow chose that time to make his appearance. He gave Magnus an affronted look before turning to Alec and rubbing up against his leg.

"What!" Magnus scolded his cat. "Who feeds you! Geez!"

Alec chuckled. "Actually, I do most of the time." Alec leaned over and picked up the cat. Chairman purred in his arms as Alec scratched behind his ears.

"That cat doesn't like anyone," Magnus said as if reminding Chairman of his mistake.

"Chairmen Meow liked me right away," Alec cooed to the cat. "Didn't you Chairman." As if on cue Chairman meowed and rested his head more comfortably on Alec's arm.

"I am going to bed," Magnus announced, shaking his head at his cat. "It's been a long and extremely confusing day."

"I'll join you," Alec replied. Magnus turned to face him, annoyed.

"I don't need a stranger in my bed thank you very much," Magnus replied.

"I am hardly a stranger," Alec argued. "And even if I was, you can't say it would be the first time you'd had a stranger in your bed."

"Why you little!" Magnus grumbled. "How am I supposed to win an argument with someone who knows all my secrets?"

"Stop lying," Alec answered easily. Magnus muttered something under his breath in a even more annoyed tone; Alec was glad he couldn't make out the exact curse words Magnus was using, though his imagination was running wild trying to figure them out.

"What do you know about it huh?" Magnus shot back. "You're twenty years old!"

"Honesty has nothing to do with age," Alec explained. "And everything to do with trust." Magnus didn't speak but turned and walked pointedly into his bedroom.

Alec knew Magnus's bedtime routine all too well and only went into the room after Magnus was already tucked into bed. After getting himself cleaned up, Alec actually put on full length pajama bottoms for a change, and climbed into bed.

"So you weren't kidding then," Magnus's voice sighed. Alec had hoped the warlock was already asleep.

"No," Alec spoke softly into the darkness. "I never sleep well without you." Magnus didn't say anything and Alec let himself relax, hoping with all his might that this was a bad dream.

When Alec woke up, he thought for a moment it had all been a horrible nightmare. Magnus's arms was around him, everything was fine. Alec snuggled in closer to the warlock, but Magnus pulled away and Alec knew yesterday had really happened.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled as he sat up. "I was kinda hoping it was all just a bad dream." Again Magnus seemed to study him, and Alec couldn't stop himself from blushing under the warlock's studious stare.

"You are far too invested in me," Magnus said.

"I know you have loved mortals before," Alec said, knowing what Magnus was really saying. "So don't start with that crap. We have as much time as we have, just like anyone else." A strange look flittered across Magnus's face. Alec had seen that look before so he added. "You're thinking about her." Magnus jumped, turning to stare at Alec.

"I told you about her?" Magnus asked softly.

"The first mortal you loved," Alec said. "She was the only one to stay with you till the end. Everyone else left you and I know that was hard but Magnus…" He wasn't sure how to show Magnus he wasn't ever going to leave. Just saying the words might overwhelm him.

"I've really told you everything haven't I," Magnus whispered but somehow it didn't feel like a question.

It was such a strange feeling sitting-in his own bed with the man he loved-and missing that man so very much. Despite everything, Alec leaned forward and moved to kiss Magnus slowly, waiting to see if Magnus would pull away. He didn't. Alec tried to forget, if only for a second, that Magnus was slipping away from him as he threw himself totally into their kiss. He wound his fingers in Magnus's silky hair and deepened the kiss. Magnus fell back against the bed as his hands found their way under Alec's shirt. When Alec moaned and whispered Magnus's name, it was like the warlock woke up; he pulled away getting out of the bed.

"Stop it," Magnus snapped. Alec stared up at his lover's face. There was confusion there in the lines of Magnus's forehead and the way he was worrying his lip.

"What should I stop?" Alec asked gently.

"This," Magnus said gesturing to everything around him including Alec. "You're confusing me." Magnus took another step back and Alec was suddenly worried he would bolt. "This is just too much. Maybe I gave up my memories for a reason."

"Magnus," Alec called reaching out, but Magnus was already moving quickly out of the room. Alec followed and arrived just in time to see Magnus disappear through a portal.

Alec knew he had no hope of locating a warlock of Magnus's skill who didn't want to be found. He tried to contact Caterina again, in the hopes she could help him find Magnus, but she was out of touch. All Alec could do was stay here, in Magnus's apartment, and hope that Magnus came back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now before any of you yell at me... just know I have an ending planned you will like, promise! :D
> 
> Please please please review and tell me what you think! I have been working on this for a while (which is how two of my other stories have sneak peeks for this one) and I have been dying to hear what people think! Do you think this is how Magnus would react if he had no idea who Alec was? My beta told me its funny at first then she realized how sad it was... so... hopefully its not all tears. :D
> 
> Sneak Peek Chapter two
> 
> "You aren't listening to a word I am saying are you?" Izzy sighed.
> 
> "Sorry what?" Alec said turning around to face his sister.
> 
> "Nevermind," Izzy sighed. "I know something about loving someone who can't remember you, is all."
> 
> "Thanks," Alec said softly. "Simon lost his memories to save us all and he is trying to get them back, right now, at the academy."
> 
> "He still looks through me," Izzy said. "I know what that's like."
> 
> "Iz," Alec whispered. "I am starting to think-" He knew he should say it, knew he needed to say it. If he didn't say the words out loud they would eat him alive. "What if Magnus did lose his memories on purpose? What if he decided he didn't want to love me anymore?"
> 
> "You can't think like that Alec," Izzy said quickly.
> 
> "How can I not," Alec sobbed. "He as good as said it before he left Iz."


	2. Lost...

Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days as Alec waited for Magnus to return. He didn't want to believe Magnus wasn't coming back. Everyday he tried in vain to contact Caterina or even Magnus by fire message but never received any response. Alec didn't want to leave the apartment. It felt like if he left he'd be admitting Magnus wasn't coming back.

Knock… knock.

Alec was sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. His thoughts had been frozen between disbelief and blind hope since Magnus had left. Alec couldn't help but remember when Magnus had broken up with him after he'd been secretly meeting Camille. Alec thought he'd known heartbreak then but this was worse. Last time Alec had been at least partly to blame and Magnus had still remembered their time together. Knowing all their years of happiness after Edom and all their time before was erased, felt like a blade of ice to the heart.

Knock… knock.

If it was Caterina she would have portaled in. This was Magnus's apartment. He wouldn't knock. There was no one else Alec care to see at the moment. Alec didn't move.

Knock… knock… bang!

"I know you're in there Alec," Jace's voice came through the door. "Open up or I am breaking down the door."

Alec seriously considered just sitting there and watching Jace turn Magnus's front door into ruble. Then he got up, dislodging Chairmen from his lap, and opened the door. Jace was there, in a towering temper.

"What the hell man!" Jace yelled. "You haven't replied to a single message. Haven't been to the institute in days! I was starting to worry you were dead!"

"I'm fine," Alec replied but he couldn't put any emotion into his voice.

"Clearly you are not," Jace said storming in through the door without an invite.

"Oh yes," Alec said sarcastically. "Do please come in."

"I did," Jace replied curtly. "What's wrong?" Alec gestured to the large space around them, that was the majority of Magnus's New York apartment, trying to show what the problem was.

"You aren't making any sense buddy," Jace sighed.

"Who is missing?" Alec growled.

"Is Magnus out?" Jace asked.

Alec expression must of said more than he'd realized because one look and Jace's eyes went wide. "Did you guys break up again?" Jace asked. Alec laughed but it was a humorless noise.

"I wish," Alec muttered.

"I remember how miserable you were the first time," Jace replied softly. "Why would you wish for something like that."

"Because," Alec said this time with anger. "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

"Did you just answer me with a quotation?" Jace asked.

"I've been reading Magnus's library," Alec mumbled. After Alec had finished crying his eyes out, until he couldn't cry anymore, Magnus's books had caught his eye. Alec had flipped through the pages for hours on end, trying to escape his pain in the words. Alec had also taken to wearing Magnus's clothes.

"Ok-ay," Jace said slowly clearly deciding to just move on. "What does it mean?"

"It means the man I love has no idea who I am," Alec said, feeling the tears pulling in his eyes. Saying it out loud hurt.

"How is that possible?" Jace asked. Alec throw his arms in the air and collapsed onto the couch.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Alec said. He didn't say the words that were haunting him. He didn't want to tell Jace that Magnus thought he'd purposely given up his memories of Alec for a reason.

"I don't have a demon to hunt," Alec whined. "No revenge to take since I don't know how or why I have lost him. I just know I have."

"I'm sorry," Jace said, sitting on the floor beside Alec who was still laying on the couch.

"Caterina went to try and find out why," Alec continued. Maybe he had needed to talk about this. "But this is complicated warlock magic I know nothing about." Alec felt the tears flow down his cheeks as he said, "I am so lost."

Jace's turned and put a comforting hand on Alec's shoulder. Alec knew his parabatai wanted nothing more than to help, to take Alec's pain away, but there was nothing Jace could do and they both knew it. Even so, Jace hung out with Alec for the rest of the day, he must of texted the others since Clary and Izzy soon joined them about an hour later. Alec appreciated the company, but no matter how many people were around him, he felt alone without Magnus.

Over the next few weeks Alec's family tried to get him out of the house on occasion, usually to kill demons. Alec felt too numb to argue with them. What did it matter if he went out or not really? After all, Magnus was Magnus, and if the High Warlock of Brooklyn wanted to contact you, he found a way no matter where you were. Since Magnus clearly didn't want to see Alec, it didn't really matter.

"Alec!" his sister's voice punctured his thoughts. "Alec! Earth to Alec!"

"What Iz?" Alec said swatting away Izzy's hand away. She had been waving it in front of his face.

"You aren't listening to a word I am saying are you?" Izzy sighed.

"Sorry what?" Alec said turning around to face his sister.

"Nevermind," Izzy sighed. "I know something about loving someone who can't remember you, is all."

"Thanks," Alec said softly. "But Simon lost his memories to save us all and he is trying to get them back, right now, at the academy. What happened with Magnus is different."

"Simon still looks through me though," Izzy replied. "I do know what that's like."

"Iz," Alec whispered. "I am starting to think-" He knew he should say it, knew he needed to say it. If he didn't say the words out loud they would eat him alive. "What if Magnus did lose his memories on purpose? What if he decided he didn't want to love me anymore?"

"You can't think like that Alec," Izzy said quickly.

"How can I not," Alec sobbed. "He as good as said it before he left Iz."

"What did he say exactly?" Izzy asked calmly.

"He said: This is just too much," Alec replied. "Maybe I gave up my memories for a reason."

"That could mean anything," Izzy tried to console him.

"Trust me," Alec moaned covering his face with his hands. "In context it meant the reason is you."

"You can't keep beating yourself up Alec," Izzy said putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Magnus will come back. Just wait a see."

Alec didn't believe her, but as it turned out, Izzy was right. One day Magnus just casually walked in the front door. Alec was only wearing a pair of pajama pants, as he'd just woken up. Jace had tried over and over to get Alec to stay at the institute with them, but Alec was determined to remain living at Magnus's loft.

Alec felt suddenly vulnerable as he stared at Magnus. Emotionally vulnerable was part of it, but he was also very aware that his chest was bare. Magnus looked the same, his hair gelled up in blue spikes, and wearing a red blazer with tight black jeans. Alec missed him so much-all he wanted to do was run into Magnus's arms-but he also wanted to feel those arms wrap around him, and knew that wouldn't happen.

"You came back," Alec whispered awed, moving automatically toward the warlock.

"You're still here?" Magnus asked, surprised.

"Of course," Alec replied.

"I would have thought you'd be back at your institute by now," Magnus said, as he moved farther into the apartment.

"I couldn't leave," Alec said.

"Listen Alec," Magnus said, slightly awkwardly but the look on Magnus's face told Alec all he needed to know.

"Don't," Alec barked quickly, holding his hand up. "I don't want to hear it."

"But you have to," Magnus said not unkindly.

"Why?" Alec asked, tears running down his cheek. He didn't know exactly what Magnus wanted to say, but he knew from his face that it was bad.

"I believe you when you say you love me," Magnus told him softly. "But I don't remember you."

"And you don't even want to try and get to know me?" Alec asked.

"I wouldn't have given up my memories without a reason, Alexander," Magnus said calmly. "And now I think I know why. You are a shadowhunter. You live and breath fighting for your life everyday. Even fragile human mortals outlive shadowhunters. This is probably for the best."

"No!" Alec yelled. Why was Magnus saying this? It had been him, after all, who'd been upset about Magnus's immortality. Why hadn't Magnus cared about this before, if this was really the problem? Alec had been thinking the same thing for weeks, but now that the reality was here, he couldn't believe it.

"What other explanation is there?" Magnus asked.

"Caterina went to figure that out," Alec reminded Magnus. "Just wait for her to return! It might not be what you think."

"I have watched mortals grow old and die around me for centuries," Magnus said, firmly. "Trust me, this is why."

"I refuse to believe that!" Alec yelled. The confidence in his own voice surprised him. "After everything we've been through, you would never do that." This wasn't happening. What little hope Alec had managed to cling to while Magnus had been gone was disappearing.

"Please calm down Alec," Magnus said stoically but Alec had no intention of calming down. Losing the most important person in his life without a fight was not how Alexander Lightwood did things.

Alec faced Magnus, furious and miserable. "You told me once that after me, there wouldn't be a next time," Alec said with all the passion he could muster. "I want to marry you, Magnus. I want to raise children with you. I want to die in your arms when I'm hundred and three surrounded by our grandkids, knowing that you will be there for them after I am gone. I don't care that you won't age and I will. I don't care about what might separates us. I just need you. Without you I am lost." A single tear rolled down Magnus's face but he didn't speak. He moved a step closer and held Alec's cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb.

"You are rather remarkable Alexander Lightwood," Magnus whispered.

"Stay with me," Alec pleaded.

"I-" Magnus began. Alec sensed a chink in Magnus's armer, an opening. He seized it.

"Please stay," Alec begged. "Just for a day even. Just try." Magnus was looking into Alec's eyes now, and Alec was looking right back. Hope was alive again in Alec's chest as he waited for Magnus's reply.

"Falling in love with those eyes must be rather like drowning," Magnus whispered. Alec had no idea what Magnus meant.

"I love you," Alec whispered, unsure what else to say. "Please don't leave me. Stay."

"The Magnus you knew is already gone," Magnus replied softly.

"No," Alec whispered back. "He is right here in front of me. It's just that he's a little lost. I can help you find him."

"Yes I think you probably can," Magnus said. They'd been moving slightly closer in the last few seconds. Alec leaned forward and kissed Magnus. Alec could taste the salt of their tears but Magnus didn't pull away. Magnus's arms were wrapped around Alec, and the world finally made sense again.

Until Magnus froze. Alec could hear the warlock's heart pounding as he took a few steps back. Alec saw an emotion flash across Magnus's face so fast he couldn't identify it. "I'm sorry Alec, but this isn't going to work. You should just forget about me."

"You kiss me like the world is ending then ask me to forget you?" Alec choked out through his tears.

"Yes," Magnus replied.

"Well that will never happen," Alec said defiantly.

"Never say never," Magnus replied in a sing song voice, his face wiped clear of emotion, but Alec had seen it there in Magnus's face. He'd seen that Magnus could come to love Alec again. Magnus was capable of that, and Alec wasn't giving up. He walked over to the couch and sat down definitely on it.

"I am not moving out," Alec said firmly. If they saw each other every day how long could Magnus hold back?

"I have to say I am not surprised to hear that," Magnus sighed.

"See you know me already," Alec smiled.

"Well I did witness your stubborn nature the first time we met," Magnus replied. "Most people's core personality traits don't change in a matter of weeks."

"Ha!" Alec laughed. "Like you aren't just as stubborn."

"You see my problem?" Magnus sighed. "Though there is an easy solution."

"Yes," Alec smiled. "You could give us a chance." Magnus didn't reply. He simply began to wave his hands and objects from around the room starting moving. A suitcase appeared in front of Magnus, and the objects started to organize themselves neatly into it. Alec stared in horror as he watching Magnus pack. His plans to make Magnus fall in love with him all over again crumbling to pieces before his eyes.

"You're really giving up?" Alec whispered.

"I don't see it as giving up Alexander," Magnus sighed.

"How do you see this?" Alec asked gesturing to the second suitcase that had magically appeared by the first. This suitcase was now also being magically packed in record time.

"I see it as following my own advice," Magnus replied. He snapped his fingers and the suitcase snapped shut, just as the last of Magnus's belongings flew into it. "You can keep the apartment, and my cat as it seems he has adopted you." Chairmen Meow had chosen that time to make his presence known by rubbing up against Alec's leg and giving Magnus a dirty look. "Traitor," Magnus told the cat.

"Have a good life Alec," Magnus told him, sorrowfully, but before Alec could even begin to explain how impossible that was without Magnus, the warlock disappeared through a portal, his suitcases trailing magically behind him.

Alec curled up into a ball on the couch. Chairmen Meow jumped up on his lap and started kneading his stomach. Alec petted the cat absently, still in shock. When the shock wore off, Alec was sobbing his heart out, there on Magnus's couch.

Alec got away with a day alone to wallow before someone came to check on him. He told Izzy what happened in a toneless voice and let her comfort him, though it made little difference. Izzy's presence just reminded Alec of Simon. Simon who was at the shadowhunter academy right now trying to get his memories back. Simon who'd sacrificed all he wanted to save his friends. At least Izzy had that. At least she knew why Simon had done it even if she spent her days waiting and hoping that Simon would remember he loved her. Magnus hadn't even been willing to try.

When the leaders of the New York vampire and werewolf clans, Maia and Lily, showed up to get help from the High Warlock, Alec almost turned them away. But then as they were talking to each other about their problems, a solution came to his mind. Alec found purpose in helping them with their mermaid problem, even if only Maia trusted him. The distraction from his misery was more than welcome.

Eventually Alec gave up on his solitary sulking and took his broken heart back to work. He volunteered for every mission he could get his hands on. Helping Maia and Lily, and fighting demons with Jace, Clary, and Izzy were all that filled his days. He poured all he had into both activities. Lily warmed up to him eventually, Alec suspected it helped that they had Magnus's apartment as neutral territory to meet. Alec observed how close of friends Lily and Maia were, and thought absently it was a step in the right direction. Vampires and werewolves were usually at each other's throats-after all-and the more leaders were on good terms, the better.

Despite the missions and diplomacy that filled his days, Alec's greatest comfort was Chairmen. The cat would come and sit in his lap in the evenings, and Alec could pretend, if only for a moment, that Magnus was still there.

"I wonder where Magnus is?" Alec asked the cat on such an evening. "Do you think he's still in Brooklyn?" Chairmen purred and rubbed Alec's hand. "He is the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all. Does that mean he has to live in Brooklyn do you think?" Alec paused while he listened to the cat purring. "I could track him. I mean he left enough stuff behind but…what would be the point."

"Meow," Chairmen replied.

"I am so glad you're here," Alec told the kitty as he leaned forward and buried his face in Chairmen's fur.

About a week later, a message arrived for Magnus from the academy asking him to guest lecture. Alec throw it out. Magnus didn't live here anymore and he'd left no forwarding address.

Alec couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Magnus hadn't forgotten him. Would they have gone to the academy together? Or would Magnus have gone on his own. Would they have met up with Simon? Alec hadn't talked to Simon in years, and he knew even less what to say to Simon now than before. He'd lost Magnus despite Simon's sacrifice, but Alec was still glad the warlock lived. Watching Magnus die in Edom would have been so much worse than watching Magnus leave whole and in one piece. A world without Magnus Bane was not a world Alec wanted to live in. Alec thought back to Magnus's expression when he'd decided to die to save them. To save Alec. That was what Magnus had said, 'I have to save you Alec.' How had it come to this?

"Look out!" Izzy yelled. Alec turned, just avoiding a demon attack. Pulling out his bow he fired an arrow into the demon's eye. Looking around, Alec saw that Izzy, Clary and Jace had taken out the rest.

"What the hell Alec!" Izzy yelled.

"Sorry," Alec said. "Got distracted."

They all lectured him about paying attention in a fight for the next half hour, but then Alec was mercifully free. He once again got lost in his memories as he headed home. Jace, Clary, Izzy and even his parents had told him again and again to move out of Magnus's apartment, but Alec always refused. It wasn't just that Chairmen was there - Alec knew he could take the cat with him to the Institute - no, that apartment was where it was easiest to remember Magnus, and Alec wanted to remember. His time with Magnus had been the best days of his life.

Alec went through the motions of his daily life. Wake up, feed the cat, dress, meet someone for something or be recruited to help on something else, then home, sleep, repeat. Alec was currenting somewhere in the middle of his list. Today he'd been asked to help Jace with a vampire den. Someone was breaking the accords.

"If you give up your boss," Jace was telling the snarling vampire. "We will leave peacefully." The pale woman with blood running down her chin didn't reply, other than to try and retreat farther into the shadows. Jace's strategy for vampire missions was to always attack in daylight when possible, since it was far easier to contain a combatant if they couldn't leave the building. "I won't ask again." Jace lifted his seraph blade threateningly into the air.

That's when Alec saw a flash of movement behind his parabatai. He fired an arrow before anyone else in the room had time to blink and they heard a scream. Jace turned to see a vampire, holding a knife that had clearly just missed Jace by inches.

"I see you don't want to make this easy," Jace sighed. "Name now, or I have no use for you."

"Never will I betray-" But she was cut off by Jace's blade. The vampire turned to ash and Jace rounded on the one who'd tried to put a knife in his back.

"Do you want to die as well?" Jace asked. It seemed he didn't. The man's eyes were wide as he stared at the ashes of his comrade. Words poured from him. He gave them all the names they needed, and together Alec and Jace restrained him and went back to the institute.

It was two more days before they tracked down the boss vampire leaving mundane bodies in her wake. Lily was very relieved to have the mess cleaned up without anyone blaming her clan for the acts of some rogue element. She thanked Alec, and even Jace clapped Alec on the back and make a joke to show he appreciated Alec's preventing his spine from being severed. But Alec didn't feel any of it. He was just going through the motions.

There was one moment however when Alec felt something. He was fighting with Izzy, Clary and Jace against a demon. The reports that reached their ears had been rather inaccurate and they were losing ground. Numb or not, Alec valued the lives of his friends more than his own. When his arrows ran out he jumped into the melee to protect them, with his own body if necessary.

"Alec!" Izzy yelled as he moved through the demon's many arms to reach her. He felt the demon's claws across his back but the blow that could have killed his sister was deflected.

"Look out," Clary said as she threw her blade to Alec's left. He didn't bother to turn and look, but he heard the blade impact and the demon's howl.

"We need to fall back," Jace said. "Regroup." But Alec didn't want to. This was a real threat and he wanted to test fate. He pretended to follow them just long enough for his friends to be out of harm's way, then Alec spun round. Sword in hand Alec leapt onto the demon's face and plunged the glowing angelic blade into its eye. It writhed under him but he held on, turning the blade until the creature was still, and finally returned to the hell from whence it came.

Alec fell to the ground, panting hard. He was covered from head to foot in demon ichor, but he was alive.

"What the hell Alec!" Jace roared. From the sound of his voice Jace was running. Alec got up off the ground, and turned to face his furious parabatai.

"Are you actually insane!" Jace yelled.

"We came here to kill a demon," Alec shrugged. "Demon's dead."

"And very nearly you as well!" Jace roared. He grabbed both of Alec's shoulders and shook him forcefully. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Imagine for a moment," Alec whispered. He could see the girls running to join them, but this was only for Jace's hears. "How you'd feel if Clary forgot who you were and then ran out on you without a second thought." Jace froze. His eyes wide in horror because Alec knew exactly what Jace would do.

"I don't care how broken you are," Jace whispered back. "You are not allowed to-"

"Don't be stupid," Alec sighed, throwing Jace's hands off him. "I'd never hurt myself. But as Magnus said, we live dangerous lives." And Alec had no intention of living to hundred without Magnus by his side.

"Alec," Jace tried again but they were interrupted by Clary and Izzy both of whom lectured him. Alec let them lecture him, not really hearing any of it. When they were done, everyone got an iratze and they went home. Jace must of told his parents what happened because suddenly Maryse and Robert began to come round Magnus's apartment just to say hello. Of course, nothing they did or said could change anything.

Until Caterina or Magnus returned, this was Alec's life, going through the motions. His hope that either one of them would return grew less and less each day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry sorry for the last update! I've had this chapter finished for a while but as I have recently learned, it doesn't matter how fast you write if you beta readers are very busy people. Anyway next chapter is finished so I promise not so long an update next time!
> 
> Sneak Peek Chapter 3:
> 
> Searching for answers was turning out to be a little tricker than Caterina had hoped. Alec's constantly sending her fire messages asking if she had news did not help. They made her feel guilty for having nothing to tell him. Caterina decided not to reply, hoping no news was better than bad news.
> 
> She continued her search, but when Alec's messages told her that Magnus had left him for good she almost returned home to talk to Alec, but what would she say? Sorry I failed, do you want a hug? No, Alec needed answers more than he needed a friend. Alec had Jace, Izzy and Clary for that. Caterina had faith that Alec's family would be there to console him. She had a more important job to do.


	3. Twist

Caterina could think of dozens of demons, any one of whom would have jumped at the chance to get Magnus's most powerful memories of love. The fact her friend would trade them away still made no sense to her. In all his four hundred years Caterina hadn't seen Magnus love anyone as much as he loved Alexander Lightwood.

Searching for answers was turning out to be a little tricker than Caterina had hoped. Alec's constantly sending her fire messages asking if she had news did not help. They made her feel guilty for having nothing to tell him. Caterina decided not to reply, hoping no news was better than bad news.

She continued her search, but when Alec's messages told her that Magnus had left him for good she almost returned home to talk to Alec, but what would she say? Sorry I failed, do you want a hug? No, Alec needed answers more than he needed a friend. Alec had Jace, Izzy and Clary for that. Caterina had faith that Alec's family would be there to console him. She had a more important job to do.

Caterina followed rumors that the fallen angel Sammael was not as destroyed as everyone had been led to believe. This meant portaling halfway around the world and followed hearsay for miles, but in the end got her nowhere. It turned out Sammael was indeed dead.

Caterina was understandably frustrated by all the time she'd wasted, but refused to give up. She had even followed the odd wives tale that detailed the demon Abbadon's search for memories. This seemed like a good lead, and she was soon asking people and following rumors-but in the end this also got her nowhere-so she thought she'd try asking the demons themselves. The problem was that Magnus was so much better at summoning them than she was. Caterina managed a few minor ones with no trouble, and after some research, she selected a more powerful demon who might actually hold some answers. Unfortunately, she didn't have the knowledge or skill to summon him. It was funny, but she wished Magnus was here. Wait, why couldn't he be? Sure he hadn't a clue who the love of his life was, but that didn't mean he wasn't still Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, and expert demon summoner.

Caterina sent Magnus a fire message. She received an answer rather more quickly that she'd expected, but it made her so mad she ripped it into pieces and burned what was left to ash. Magnus had decided it didn't matter; he was moving on. Magnus seemed to believe he would never lose his memories by accident, which to him meant he had lost them intentionally, and he wanted to respect his own choices.

"Sometimes I want to kill him!" Carteria yelled to no one. Magnus could be a stubborn fool when he wanted to be! How he could work against his own happiness so expertly was infuriating! Alec needed answers even if Magnus didn't deserve them.

All eyes turned to her, alarmed, and Caterina remember where she was. The large open pace was crowded with warlocks and other magical beings. It was an underground market of sorts. A secret place for trade and commerce, unknown by the nephilim, or so people said. Caterina suspect the shadowhunters did actually have some ideas of its existence-they just had no way of entering the square-as it took a portal and a password to do so.

"Sorry," Caterina said to the angry looking people around her. "No one you know. Just my friend being an idiot." Some seemed to accept this, but there were still those giving her suspicious looks. Caterina made a mental note not to threaten a room full of magic users in future and pulled her train of thought back to the problem at hand. Should she go pick a fight with Magnus? That would likely get her no where anyway. Should she just find some other skilled warlock to help her? Her first thought was Ragnor Fell. It was strange to have such a constant as Ragnor taken away. Some days Caterina forgot that the Mortal War had robbed her of a life long companion.

She tried to ask around in the market for help, but even before she had started screaming death threats, people didn't seem too keen to help her raise the Demon Marax. In the end, she decided to simply improve her own skills. She would likely never be as good as summoning demons as Magnus, but she could at least get the skills to summon this one demon, that all her searching seemed to agree had the answers.

Caterina stood before a great pentagram, a large book open in her hands. The book was old and warn with a faded cover and full of ancient spells. As Caterina read the words, the wind picked up blowing her white hair into her face. She continued speaking through the gale as the greater demon Marax appeared before her. The only other time Caterina knew of Marax being summoned was by the circle. Marax had simply killed all of the circle members responsible for summoning him since those fools hadn't bound the demon to a pentagram.

Marax was large, standing at least twice as high as Caterina while on his four legs. Marax somewhat resembled a bull but his form was more demonic, his horns more twisted. His skin black as night with darker grey around his eyes. Evil seemed to come off him in waves and Caterina hated to think of tall he'd be if he reared on his hind legs.

"Who has summoned me!" Marax roared, rearing on his hind legs.

"I have questions for you," Caterina told him.

"How dare you summon Marax for such a boring reason!" the demon roared, snorting like a bull about to charge. "I shall remove your spine from your body and wrap it around your neck."

"Yeah yeah," Caterina said absently as Marax's forward charge was stopped by her pentagram. "Now about my question. Have you been summoned by another warlock recently."

"Time is a meaningless construct for me," Marax roared. He seemed incapable of speaking but rather roared everything. Though his face was rather like a bull's, and she wasn't totally sure if he was speaking with words or in her mind.

"Magnus Bane," Caterina said. "Son of Asmodeus. Did he summon you?" Marax began to laugh. His cruel deep laughter filled the room and made Caterina feel sick.

"Oh yes that was a good day," Marax said with a grin. "Perhaps you are not as dull as you seem if you can bring to mind such stimulating topics."

"What happened when Magnus summoned you?" Caterina asked.

"He did not see it coming," Marax continued, falling back to four legs as he dug into the ground with his hooved feet. There was a merciless glee about him. "How is Magnus anyway? I am sure his father won't be pleased with me. He so wanted to take Magnus's life himself."

"What have you gone?" Caterina accused. The part about Magnus's life worried her. Was Magnus dying? Was his memory loss just a small part of what was going on?

"Oh the silly warlock summoned me for a favour," Marax purred lovely as if recounting a favourite memory. "A stupid favour I might add. Naturally I declined, but then he offered… well."

"His memories of love?" Caterina said, tonelessly. So Magnus had chosen this. Her heart sank at the thought.

"Exactly," Marax smiled. "How could I turn down such a lovely gift."

"What did Magnus want in return?"

"I have to say I was surprised," Marax replied. "What he wanted seemed more like a punishment to me." There was a confused tone to Marax's voice now.

"What was it!" Caterina yelled. She was so frustrated, with this journey, with Magnus and with Marax! To be so close to the answer and yet held back from it by such a creature was infuriating.

"He wanted to be mortal," Marax said. Caterina gasped but Marax ignored her. "A mortal warlock, can you believe it? For a while there, I was sure he was joking."

"Oh god," Caterina whispered. She wanted to sit down. This was so much bigger than simple memory loss. Fighting the urge to summon and chair and collapse into it Caterina stood her ground.

"Now I soon learned why he wanted such a silly thing," Marax continued his story. He seemed rather happy to be brag. "Love." The demon scoffed. "He offered me the loving memories of those long dead in exchange for this favour but where is the fun in that? I wanted more current memories. I wanted the memories that were-"

"The reason Magnus wanted to be mortal," Caterina breathed.

"Oh you are a smart one," Marax laughed. "Who sired you little blue warlock girl? I would like to know."

"Did it work?" she asked quickly, ignoring the demon's questions. "Is Magnus mortal?"

"This is no fun anymore," Marax complained. "I thought my idea was very well crafted." He huffed as if she wasn't appreciating his brilliance as she should. "But I am bored with you now. Release me from his infernal pentagram."

"I will not," Caterina spoke firmly to him, trying to show strength, though she was scared out of her mind. "I will hold you here, and block your view of both worlds, unless you return Magnus's memories!"

"Let me think…" Maxra mocked her. "No."

"Do you think I'm bluffing?" she asked.

"It matters not if you are bluffing," Maxra replied calmly. "I rather like these beautiful memories. Playing them on repeat is rather more fun than either of these worlds anyway."

"Then at least tell me if it worked," Caterina pleaded. "Is Magnus mortal."

"I don't actually know," Marax said, suddenly thoughtful. "No one has tried to turn such an old warlock into a mortal without turning him into a pile of ashes before." He paused, the thoughtful tone to his voice shifted to that of cruel laughter as he added, "I guess only time will tell." His deep foul laughter filled the air as his chest rocked with the power of his amusement. "Oh you should have seen the look on that warlock's face when he realized what I was about to do. The fool tried to back out of our deal! Oh such wonderful memories. I ate well that day!" He continued to laugh clearly thrilled with his evil trick and Caterina knew she would get nothing else useful out of him.

She read from the book again, pouring magic into her spell, and Marax vanished. Caterina collapsed onto the ground, sobbing before she hit the ground. How dare this demon possess all her friends best memories of love! How dare he forever ruin Magnus's happiness! And could Magnus really be mortal? Would he age or just turn to ash like his father wanted? Caterina stood up; there was no time for this. She had to see Magnus.

One tracking spell and portal later, Caterina stepped into a bar in Italy. She purposely sent no advanced warning, and when she spotted Magnus in the corner, went straight to him. The last time she'd met Magnus in a bar, she'd convinced him to follow Alec to Idris. She had a distinct sense of deja vu as she sat on his left side.

"Oh Caterina," Magnus said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Italy?" Caterina sighed. "Really?"

"I'm on vacation," Magnus told her.

"You are avoiding Alec," she replied. "Aren't you the high Warlock of Brooklyn, not Rome?"

"I am allowed to travel," Magnus reminded her. "High Warlock or not."

"You love your apartment," Caterina said. "I know you do. But you left, just to be away from Alexander. Why?" Before she told him what she knew, Caterina wanted to find out what was really going on inside Magnus's head.

"I'm scared," Magnus admitted.

"That was obvious," Caterina sighed. "You do have a pattern don't you?

"Oh shut up!" Magnus scoffed.

"I have known you for over three centuries," Caterina reminded him. "Don't pretend like I can't tell when you're scared." She paused then added, "What are you scared of?"

"I could see the devotion in his eyes when he looked at me," Magnus confessed. She knew exactly which 'he' Magnus was talking about. "And I just, I can't live up to that. He possesses so much of me, Caterina."

"But you had lived up to that," Caterina explained. "You were just as devoted to him, I promise you. And you hold just as much of Alexander as he does of you."

"But he knows everything about me," Magnus's list of excuses continued. "Everything! It scares the hell out of me. I've never told anyone so much before. What the hell was I thinking?"

"You weren't thinking," Caterina explained. "You were in love."

"Which means the level of commitment we must of shared," Magnus continued, but he seemed unable to find the words.

"I've never seen you so committed to another person before," Caterina told him.

"And that scares the hell out of me too!" Magnus exclaimed.

"You and Alec were had a connection the instant you met," Caterina said kindly. "I remember how excited you were when you called me the moment Alec asked you out on your first date." She paused but Magnus didn't speak so she continued. "Memories or not, you are made for each other. You can't tell me you don't feel something when you are near him."

"No I can't," Magnus began softly. "I look at him… and it's like the world falls away. It's like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and I can feel just how effortless and joyful a fall it would be if I pushed off from that ledge. I can understand how I fell for him the first time, but Caterina…" Magnus paused, his eyes glossy.

Caterina sighed, covering her face with her hands. "It doesn't matter how many centuries you have to get it right. People never learn."

"What does that mean?" Magnus replied, annoying.

"You're scared of losing him," Caterina told Magnus firmly. It was so obvious to her now. "He's not only mortal but a shadowhunter. He lives and breaths danger."

"To love him is to lose him," Magnus whispered.

"Wasn't it you who always told me love was worth it?" Caterina asked. "I let my fiance die of old age while I lost track of time, but you always wore your heart on your sleeve."

"Something must of changed," Magnus said. "That must be why I gave up my memories."

"I didn't just come here to give you a pep talk," Caterina said. "A demon named Marax took your memories as payment Magnus."

"Well then clearly I didn't value them," Magnus replied. "If I offered them as payment."

"Marax tricked you," Caterina explained. "The memories you were trying to give up were of your first love over three hundred years ago." Magnus seemed stunned by this news. Caterina knew how he cherished those memories of her.

"Magnus, you went to Marax and asked him to make you mortal so you could grow old with Alec," Caterina said. "He thought it a cruel trick too take in payment the reason you'd made the request in the first place."

"I- what?" Magnus whispered. From the look on his face, Caterina was sure this idea had not once occurred to him.

"Don't you see!" Caterina exclaimed. "You have everything wrong! Clearly you told no one about it, but I suspect that was because you hadn't a clue if it was possible and didn't want to get Alec's hopes up. Either way Magnus, you didn't lose your memories in the effort of trying to be free of Alec, but rather to be closer to him."

"I wanted to die for him?" Magnus said stunned.

"And not for the first time," Caterina reminded her friend. "You tried to give your life to your father to save Alec in Edom."

"Simon saved me," Magnus whispered. "Though I remember trying to stop him but-" Magnus shook his head as if trying to clear it. "I can't remember why."

"You wanted to save your friends, but more than that, you needed to save Alec," Caterina said kindly. "Alec tried to stop you. He said he'd rather die down in Edom with you than return to the world alone."

"He chose the me over the world?" Magnus gasped. Caterina nodded, knowing full well what this would mean to her friend.

"Did it work?" Magnus asked after a moment. "Am I mortal?"

"I don't know," Caterina replied. "Since it's never been done before, and Marax was less than helpful, but Magnus, it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters!" Magnus yelled standing up and rounding on her.

"Okay fine, yes it does, but not today," Caterina said. "Because mortal or immortal, your place is by Alexander's side. Go home."

"Maybe there's a way to find out," Magnus said almost as if asking himself. "Aside from just waiting to see if I wrinkle."

"If you don't go home to Alec right now," Caterina threatened. "And tell him what you've told me, I will."

"You won't," Magnus gasped.

"I would," Caterina stood up and took her friend firmly by the shoulders. "If I know Alec at all, he is questioning why you lost your memories, and is either blaming himself, or questioning your love for him. He doesn't deserve that hell Magnus. Go Home Now!"

"I can't face him," Magnus said. "I just- I said some things and-"

"That doesn't matter," Caterina almost yelled. "Just go to him. Tell him everything. Don't worry about anything else."

Magnus gazed at her for long infinite moment before turning sharply and walking away. She hoped with all her might that Alexander was his destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I surprise you? I rather think I did! My beta was very surprised at least! I can't wait to hear what you guys think of this major plot twist!
> 
> Also YAY for Caterina POV! Isn't she awesome?
> 
> Sneak Peek Chapter 4
> 
> "Hi Alec," Magnus said softly. He seemed different though Alec couldn't figure out how.
> 
> "Hi," Alec said, stunned. Was he dreaming? Was Magnus really here?
> 
> "I was wondering if we could talk," Magnus asked. Alec snapped out of his revery enough to move. He walked forward and now stood in front of Magnus, a little awed.
> 
> "Are you real?" Alec asked. "Or have I finally lost my mind?"


	4. Found

"I don't need another lecture Iz!" Alec growled. They were both covered in ichor and walking down a mundane street with not a single mundane aware of their presence.

"Clearly you do!" Izzy scolded him as she indicated the red line on Alec's leg that had minutes ago been a deep gash revealing bone.

"I'm fine," Alec reminded her.

"No you aren't! If I hadn't gotten to you as fast as I did," Izzy yelled. "You would have bled out and died!"

"I think you are being a little dramatic," Alec whined. "Besides, how was I supposed to know the demon had an extra set of claws on his elbow."

Isabelle stopped cold and turned to face her brother. "Magnus might come back," she said. "Simon might be Simon again, we have to stay strong for them."

"Simon will be Simon again," Alec corrected her. "But Magnus won't come back."

"Let me remind you that every time I've gone to see Simon since he joined the academy, he'd rejected me," Izzy said fiercely. "He thinks we are strangers. He says he isn't the same guy I knew. He refers to his past self as if he is someone else entirely! But Alec, Magnus didn't lose who he was like Simon did."

"No he just chose to give up all his memories of me," Alec reminded her. "While Simon chose to save us all. Besides, I know Simon remembers bits and pieces of your time together."

"You don't know why Magnus lost his memories," Izzy stated. "And Simon doesn't want me to wait for him. I've made a fool of myself for him but it hasn't mattered. It will be years until he ascends, if ever."

"But you have hope, Iz," Alec sighed. "Magnus can't ascend to get his memories back, and even if he could, he never would in a million years since that would mean he couldn't live a million years anymore."

"Fine," Izzy yelled, throwing her arms in the air. "Be miserable, but if I catch you doing something risky on a mission again, I am benching you!"

"You can't do that," Alec scoffed as he started walking again. They were almost to the Institute.

"Like hell I can't!" Izzy said. "Mom and dad are already worried about you. Just a few carefully chosen words, and I could get them to lock you up!"

"Drama queen," Alec grumbled, though he knew she had a point. He was being stupid. It was just that the thrive of the unknown was the only thing capable of snapping him out of his numb haze these days. Charging into a fight, not knowing whether or not he'd live, was the only time he felt truly aware. The rest of the last few weeks were just a blur, but those moments, he could remember perfectly.

"Dad is dragging me to the Academy to help with some lesson about The Circle," Izzy said. "Come."

"I think I'll pass," Alec laughed.

"Dad wants me to test them," Izzy said. "So my job is to try and convince recruits it's a good idea to summon a demon for fun."

"I am sure you are up for the challenge," Alec said. "How are things with you and dad."

"Oh you know," Izzy replied. "Thin ice. The usual."

"Is that why you want me to come?" Alec asked

"No," Izzy said. "I returned Simon's letter without opening it, and now I have to face him."

"Why didn't you read it?" Alec asked.

"Couldn't," Izzy muttered. Alec had to admit he knew exactly what she meant.

"Just have fun torturing the cadets," Alec told her. "Maybe flirt with one of them and see if Simon reacts."

"Oh I'm definitely doing that," Izzy smiled then she frowned at him and added. "I take it that's still a no."

"Yep," Alec answered. They had reached the Institute, and now stood at the entrance.

"You sure you don't want to come in?" Izzy asked.

"I'm sure," Alec said. "I'm going home."

"To your empty apartment," Izzy reminded him.

"Tell that to my cat," Alec said defiantly. Izzy groaned but didn't argue the point further. They had been over this too many times before. Alec always went back to Magnus's. He was however, waiting for the day his sister called him a crazy cat lady.

Slowly Alec walked to the nearest subway terminal. Magnus's Brooklyn loft was quite a ways away from the Institute. My loft, Alec reminded himself because Magnus isn't coming back. Alec hoped with all his might that at least Izzy and Simon would find their way back to happiness. He wanted that for his sister. He wouldn't wish memory loss of a loved one on his worst enemy.

As Alec walked onto the subway he saw a tall Asian man facing away. Alec rationally knew this man wasn't Magnus, but he couldn't stop the slight bolt of hope in his chest before the man turned around. This was not the first time this had happened. Since Magnus had walked out the front door, Alec had seen the love of his life everywhere. He tried so hard to halt the momentary excitement, each sighting invoked in him but he failed every time. Izzy told him this was because Alec still had hope and should try, but Alec disagreed. This was simply Alec's mind seeing what it wanted rather than reality. Like when you see something out of the corner of your eye as one thing, then turn and discovered it's something else entirely.

Alec left the subway and walked the few blocks home. He thought again about contacting Tessa. She and Jem were back from the honeymoon as far as he knew, and Alec suspected Tessa would want to know what had happened to Magnus. They were old friends, and Alec suspected it was Tessa's grief from losing Will that had scared Magnus into giving up his memories in the first place.

Alec walked into the place he called home, closing the door gently behind him. He was surprised Chairmen wasn't there to greet him. The cat usually came running when he'd been out. Alec idly wondered what to tell Tessa when he sent her a fire message. Maybe that was a problem for tomorrow. Alec yawned, set down his keys then turned to face the main living area, and froze.

Either he'd lost his mind and started to have full blown hallucinations or... Magnus Bane was sitting on the couch, with Chairmen Meow curled up in his lap.

Was he so messed up in the head that he was actually hallucinating? Or was he dreaming? Alec wasn't usually covered in ichor in his dreams but anything was possible.

"Hi Alec," Magnus said softly. He was stroking the cat absently but he seemed different than the last time Alec had seen him, if Alec indeed was even seeing Magnus.

"Hi," Alec said, too stunned to know what to say.

"I was wondering if we could talk," Magnus asked. Alec snapped out of his reverie enough to move. He walked forward slowly. Hallucination, dream or reality he was going to move closer.

"Are you real?" Alec asked. "Are you here?"

"Have you been hallucinating me?" Magnus laughed.

"It's possible," Alec replied. "But I wouldn't put it past my me." Alec was exhausted, had just survived a near fatal injury and was covered in a mixture of his own and demon's blood. He was by definition a mess.

"I see," Magnus said. He was biting his lower lip in that way he did when he was nervous. Alec couldn't help but smile when he saw that small sign that this really was his Magnus. "Why are you smiling?" Magnus added after a moment's looking Alec over.

"Real, or a figment of my imagination," Alec smiled. "Either way it's good to see you." It had been so long since Alec had seen the beauty in Magnus's cat eyes, or the curve of his lips. Alec's eyes roamed over Magnus's shoulders and arms, determined to enjoy the sight of the one thing in the world he loved most.

"I'm really here Alec," Magnus whispered, and Alec believed him even if he had no idea why.

"If you are really here," Alec said. "And you want to talk. Does that mean you are willing wait for me to change?"

"Of course," Magnus replied. "Chairmen and I will be right here when you get back." The concept seemed foreign to him, but talking to Magnus while covered head to toe in blood didn't sound appealing either. Alec turned away from Magnus, and walked towards the bathroom. It was strange walking away from all that he wanted, but Alec was determined not to get his hopes up. Magnus being here didn't mean anything. Alec quickly got in the shower, and watched all the blood go down the drain. Then he got out, and threw on an old pair of jeans and a sweater to hide all his new scars. He was only gone a few minutes.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Alec asked as casually as he could. He sat across from Magnus in the chair opposite the couch.

"I don't really know how to start," Magnus confessed. Chairmen meow was still in the warlock's nap.

"Well what made you finally come back?" Alec asked. He was so tired and miserable, but trying to keep Magnus's presences from getting his hopes up was more draining than either. Also his half healed wounds ached.

"Caterina is a persuasive woman," Magnus mumbled. Alec laughed.

"Yes," Alec said. "She is that and a very good friend. Did she discover what happened to your memories?" Alec tried to keep his voice causal while he asked the question that had been eating him alive for weeks.

"Yes," Magnus answered, and Alec held his breath. "But first- I mean... I think... you deserve... you should know…"

"You aren't making much sense," Alec replied, his leg was still sore, but that was forgotten when suddenly Magnus was looking at Alec with the intensity of the sun.

"I never told you why I ran," Magnus stated.

"You don't love me," Alec supplied, in a toneless voice. "You forgot. Wasn't that why?"

"No," Magnus replied. Alec waited, holding his breath. This he had not expected. The pain in his leg, and the fatigue in his muscles were nothing to him now. "I could- I mean I was- I- Oh Alec you scared me to death."

"I scared you?" Alec couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes," Magnus said. "You know my every secret which in and of itself was insane. I could not fathom the devotion in your eyes when you looked at me. That day you told me what you wanted your life with me to be… I've never had such… well, love directed at me before and I- I'm not worthy of that."

No matter what they were to each other in this moment, Alec could not let Magnus think such a thing about himself. Alec got up and went to Magnus on the couch. He leaned in close enough to kissed Magnus's cheek. "You are the most worthy person I know," Alec whispered, against Magnus's skin. "No matter what you think, no matter what the future holds, you have my love till the day I die." When Alec pulled away he saw that Magnus was crying. "What's wrong?"

"That's what I'm so scared of," Magnus whispered, crying in earnest now. "I knew I could love you again. I can feel it in every fibre of my being when I am near you, but it's terrifying, paralyzing because you're going to die."

"Everyone gets the time they get," Alec replied. "I can't help that."

"Well it seems I thought I could," Magnus sighed. There was a strange look on Magnus's face that Alec couldn't identify.

"What do you mean?" Alec asked. His hopes were way out of control now.

"Caterina," Magnus said after a moment. "She figured out why I lost my memories. A demon tricked me but… Alec the part I couldn't believe was why I went to the demon in the first place." Magnus paused while Alec's mind went through every possible reason except the actual one.

"I went to the demon to give up my immortality." Magnus had spoken the words, but it took Alec a full thirty seconds to take them in. Magnus - his Magnus - had decided Alec was worth mortality, and went in secret to do this. Magnus hadn't given up his love for Alec, quite the opposite. How had the world seemed so bleak this morning? The world was beautiful.

"I hardly believed it myself," Magnus said.

"Did it work?" Alec asked, unable to keep the egear tone from his voice. "Do you know if you are…"

"Mortal?" Magnus whispered as if the very word scared the life out of him. "Caterina couldn't find out."

"There must be a way to know for sure," Alec began.

"Yes but Alec-" Magnus choked, the words caught in his throat. Alec couldn't bare to see Magnus so upset. He pulled the warlock into his arms and held him close. Magnus didn't fight him, but rather wrapped his arms around Alec, almost desperately in return, and Alec felt like he was finally home again. They remained like that for a few moments until Magnus pulled away.

"I don't remember ever being so scared," Magnus whispered. "I don't know what to do?"

"We will find out what's going on," Alec comforted him.

"That just it," Magnus whispered. "Caterina may not have been able to learn what really happened, but Alec, I could. Before I came to see you, I went and looked into it." Magnus choked back tears, and Alec automatically reached out to comfort him while he held his breath for the end of Magnus's story.

"It worked Alec," Magnus whispered. "I'm not immortal anymore." Alec didn't know what to do or think. It was what he'd wanted before, but he'd long ago made peace with not having it.

"I don't know what I am," Magnus continued. "There's never been a warlock before who aged. I have no idea what is going to happen to me."

"It's okay Magnus," Alec whispered as he held the warlock's face in both his hands, gazing into those beautiful cat eyes he loved so much. "No matter what happens, I am with you."

And then Magnus kissed him. Magnus kissed Alec like he wanted to lose himself in Alec, in the mingling of the lips. Magnus kissed Alec with a fierce need, as if he'd die without Alec's embrace. Suddenly, Alec found himself laying on his back on the couch as Magnus's hands ran over his chest, their mouths still moving together. Alec's hands went up to hold Magnus as their kiss deepened.

Despite the news that he still couldn't fully understand the long term meaning of, in this moment, Alec felt nothing but pure joy. The constricting feeling over his heart that had been his constant companion these last weeks was gone, and Alec realized just how hard it had been to bare.

"Magnus," Alec moaned as the warlock pulled Alec's sweater and shirt off, exposing his bare chest to the world. "Oh god how I've missed you."

"I can't say the same," Magnus said with a slight laugh. "But I am done denying the hold you have over me."

"I love you," Alec told him. Magnus didn't reply, but his desperate efforts to remove Alec's clothes intensified. Alec's hands started to follow suit, and soon Magnus's shirt was also on the ground.

Alec lost himself in the sensation of being loved by the man he loved. At the moment, he didn't care if Magnus was mortal or immoral. He didn't care if Magnus would ever love him like he had before. He didn't care if Magnus ever got his memories back. All he cared about was that Magnus was here, that Magnus had known from the start that he could love Alec again. It seemed silly after all they'd been through, that fear alone could have held Magnus back, though Alec supposed he had once been guilty of hiding his relationship with Magnus out of fear.

But none of that mattered now, because Magnus's soft lips were kissing him. Magnus's gentle perfect hands were exploring him.

"Alexander," Magnus gasped. Alec wouldn't have thought anything of it, giving what they were currently doing, but then Magnus pulled away. Alec had been looking up at the ceiling with his head leaned all the way back on the couch arm, reveling in the feelings Magnus's touch stirred in him, but when Magnus's hands left his skin, Alec looked up.

"What's wrong?" Alec asked. His fear this was all a perfect dream resurfacing.

"These scars," Magnus said as he slowly traced the new one on Alec's leg.

"Oh those," Alec said, relaxing. Then he added with a shrug, "A demon tried to kill me."

"This one on your leg looks like it isn't healed yet," Magnus observed.

"That one is from about an hour ago," Alec explained. There was a strange look on Magnus's face that Alec couldn't identify.

"What are you thinking?" Alec asked.

"All your scars," Magnus said as he traced a few more along Alec's hip and chest. "Are either extremely new or very old."

"So?" Alec asked. He already missed the feel of Magnus's touch, and had to resist the urge to reach forward and pull Magnus down for a kiss, and pick up where they'd left off.

"Have you been getting cut to shreds since I left?" Magnus asked. Alec was rather ashamed of his actions now that he was free of the pain, and he didn't really want to admit the truth.

"Once you were gone, I had nothing else to do but work," Alec explained instead. "We just had a few near misses is all."

"Are you sure these aren't my fault?" Magnus asked.

"You are here now," Alec said softly as he gave in to his impulses, and sat up to hold Magnus's face in his hands. "We are both here, together and that is all that matters."

Then Alec kissed Magnus, and felt the tension in the warlock's shoulders relax as everything but the other's touch melted from their minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^_^ Wasn't that cute? See I was getting to the happy just like I promised.
> 
> We have reached the end of my pre-planned chapters. I originally started this story as a one shot but the more I wrote it the more I realized it was WAY to long for one chapter... so... yeah... another multi chapter fic happened... when I finish updating this one I can start uploading the story I'd had started for months. It is, of course, also malec!
> 
> Sneak Peek Chapter 5:
> 
> "So tell me about us?" Magnus whispered.
> 
> "What do you want know?" Alec replied.
> 
> "How did we meet?" Magnus said.
> 
> "The memory spells you were doing on Clary," Alec explained. "She found out and we all came to see you. I was very firmly in the closet back then but you still noticed me."
> 
> "That I can understand," Magnus replied, his fingers continuing their study of Alec's skin. "You are rather noticeable."


	5. Stories

Alec was lying in his bed while Magnus's gentle fingers traces the runes on his skin, his eyes closed. Last night Alec had slept-really slept-for the first time since the day Magnus had left.

"So tell me about us?" Magnus whispered.

"What do you want know?" Alec replied.

"How did we meet?" Magnus said.

"The memory spells you were doing on Clary," Alec explained. "She found out, and we all came to see you. I was very firmly in the closet back then, but you still noticed me." It was so strange lying naked in bed with Magnus, and telling Magnus about their life together. Strange in a good way though. It felt like they were getting back to where they had been before.

"That I can understand," Magnus replied, his fingers continuing their study of Alec's skin. "You are rather noticeable." Alec resisted the urge to disagree with Magnus on this matter, since that would ruin the mood. "Then what happened?"

"Oh just me almost getting myself killed saving Jace," Alec continued. "Someone told you, and you came and saved me."

"And this lead to us being an item?" Magnus asked.

"No," Alec explained. "Me coming to your apartment to thank you for saving my life and asking you out, lead to that."

"Bold move," Magnus said, but Alec could hear the smile in his voice.

"Our first date was only slightly disastrous," Alec continued, grinning. "We went to a restaurant where the staff thought I was there to kill them, then Caterina called you to go help a werewolf girl."

"Did I abandon you?" Magnus asked.

"Actually you invited me to come," Alec said. "We saved her together."

"I bet that surprised me," Magnus said. "I probably expected you to try and kill the werewolf instead of saving her."

"That hadn't occurred to me actually," Alec said thoughtfully.

"Sounds to me like we had a pretty normal start," Magnus said. He'd stopped tracing Alec's skin, lying down next to Alec instead. Alec turned to face Magnus on the bed, wrapping an arm around him.

"Maybe," Alec said. "But nothing about it felt normal to me."

"Ah but you said you'd never been with anyone before me," Magnus replied. "First love always feels like magic."

"Love is magic," Alec corrected him.

"I think I can say with some authority that that isn't true," Magnus replied. "Being both an expert in magic, and a veteran of love."

"Well you're wrong," Alec said firmly, with a shake of his head. "Just the fact you are here with me, even though you have no memory of our time together, proves the magic of love."

"So how did you end up rescuing me from my father's hell?" Magnus asked changing the subject.

"You are jumping ahead in the story," Alec said, grinning. He'd let the magic argument slide. Plenty of time to prove Magnus wrong another day. "Next came the Mortal War. Do you remember that?"

"Yes," Magnus said. "Clary got me the Book of the White, and my oldest friend was killed."

"It was also when you told me you loved me for the first time," Alec said, trying to remove the pain from Magnus's eyes. Alec was one of the few people who knew how much Ragnor's death had affected the warlock. Magnus did such a good job of hiding the emotions he didn't want others to see. "You haven't returned my calls for a while and then I found you fighting demons in Alicante once the wards went down. Rather than asking you why you were there, or how demons had gotten in or anything like that, I asked you why you hadn't returned my calls."

"Are you stupid?" Magnus asked chuckling. "You'd think under those circumstances you'd have more important things to focus on."

"You had the same reaction back then," Alec said laughing. "I was rather single minded about it, because despite the war, all I could think about was you. " He paused to lean forward, and kissed Magnus quickly before continuing. "I was very stubborn, and when I finally got you to answer the question, you said you loved me."

"So I wasn't answering your calls because I loved you?" Magnus asked skeptically. "I may have missing memories, but even I know that's not right."

"Okay," Alec conceded. "It was more like you were sick of being in love with me because I had a crush on Jace, and was in the closet, but all I got out of it was the fact that you loved me."

"That's more like it," Magnus replied with a smile.

"I promised to introduce you to my family," Alec continued. "And after some more demon fighting I did so, by kissing you in front of half the Shadowhunters of Alicante in the accords hall."

"Again, I must congratulate you on your bold moves Alexander," Magnus chuckled. "That must of been quite a sight."

"Yep," Alec laughed then he asked, "Do you remember the fight? With Clary's alliance rune?"

"Yes," Magnus said. "I remember fighting with nephilim reflexes. It was uncanny."

"You were linked with me for that fight," Alec explained.

"That would make sense," Magnus replied. "Given everything I now know."

"After the war, we went on holiday together," Alec smiled as he brought his hand up to stroke Magnus's face. "We made love for the first time in Paris."

"You sound like a romance novel," Magnus laughed.

"Is it my fault we're adorable?" Alec smiled. He was studying the warlock's face for any slight change or indication of what Magnus might be thinking.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Magnus asked.

"Just trying to read your mind," Alec teased.

"It's not fair," Magnus grumbled. "You know me so well." Alec could see past the warlock's font to his fear. Alec knew this now to be the fear of being known so well by someone.

"Please don't worry," Alec whispered stroking Magnus's face. "I know you, but I am loyal to you. You're secrets are precious to me."

"I know," Magnus replied, closing his eyes and leaning into Alec's hand. "It just- I mean it still feels- I feel-"

"Vulnerable?" Alec added.

"Yeah," Magnus mumbled.

"You are not the only one who feels that way," Alec whispered. "To love is to make yourself vulnerable."

"I am drawn to you," Magnus whispered. "Like a moth to a flame. Fighting it took all I had, and I don't want to fight anymore, no matter how hot the fire burns." Alec sat up in bed, and turned to cover Magnus's body with his own as he kissed the warlock sweetly. Alec then moved his lips down Magnus's neck and chest, kissing tenderly.

"I won't ever burn you, my love," Alec whispered against Magnus's skin. "I will forever hold you close and keep you warm."

As Alec's lips moved down Magnus teasing him, the warlock was spurred into action. No patience for Alec's foreplay, he moved things along. Alec found himself suddenly under Magnus, and far too distracted to continued a conversation. The grips of passion consumed them. Alec's thoughts melted away as he made love to the man he loved.

"By the Angel, how I've missed you," Alec gasped as felt Magnus's gentle caress. They were both panting, coming down from their highs.

"Oh and what part of me have you missed the most?" Magnus teased, his fingers running over Alec's body to make his point clear. Alec couldn't help but take the question more seriously. He sat up and gazed at Magnus with intensity.

"The kindness in your eyes," Alec began. "The wisdom of your thoughts. The beauty in your soul, and the wonder of your touch." Magnus didn't seem to have the words to reply. Alec smiled at him until Magnus seized Alec's lips in a kiss.

"There is more to you than meets the eye," Magnus whispered. "Enough about us. I want to know about you."

"I promise I am not that interesting," Alec replied.

"I disagree," Magnus replied. "Do you know why I fell in love with you?"

"Absolutely no idea," Alec laughed. "I just counted my lucky stars and went with it."

"Hmmm," Magnus mused. "I guess I shall have to find out for myself then."

"Please do tell me if you figure it out," Alec said. "Can I finish my story now?"

"No," Magnus said. "I want to hear Alexander Lightwood's story."

"How about I give you the summary?" Alec said. Magnus didn't object, so Alec continued. "Scared closeted kid meets sexy warlock, and starts seeing him secretly, but refused to admit to anyone what he knows to be true. Scared kid finally realizes he will lose the sexy warlock if he doesn't. Kid isn't so scared anymore, and kissing his warlock in front of everything. Aside from his parents trying to give him endless papercuts, all is right in the world."

"But I asked about you," Magnus said. "Not you and me."

"You are a part of me," Alec replied.

"I was about fifteen minutes ago," Magnus chuckled, and Alec rolled his eyes. "But I still want to know about you, just you."

Alec shrugged. "I am not sure what else to tell you. My life is just training, demon fighting, trying to stop my siblings from getting themselves killed, and you."

"Tell me what it's like growing up as nephilim," Magnus asked. "I can't imagine that." And so Alec explained how he'd been training as long as he could remember, and how he'd instantly had a preference for the bow and arrow. Alec talked about his first rune ceremony. He talked about how he'd never met anyone like him, until Magnus. Alec confessed that he'd always felt like he'd been born wrong, by being born gay, until he'd met Magnus.

"There isn't anything wrong about you," Magnus said. "On the contrary, you seem to me like the most wholesome person I know. There is an honestly about your face that is quite remarkable." Alec smiled at Magnus. He'd heard this before from Magnus's lips, and hearing it again made him believe more than ever that Magnus was following the same path he'd gone down once before. The path that had lead to Magnus falling in love with Alec.

"Once I knew who I was," Alec said. "But before I met you, I believed totally that I'd never have this." He gestured to the two of them together. "Loving who I wanted to love, and having a family, I thought that would be forever out of my reach."

"A family," Magnus whispered, and Alec realized what he'd said.

"Let's not worry about that right now though," Alec replied hastily.

"But Alec-" Magnus tired to reply, but Alec placed a finger gently over Magnus's lips.

"I am going to finish our story now," Alec said smiling. Magnus gave up trying to talk and settled down in Alec's arms.

"So I left us off in Paris," Alec said. "We were called back to deal with Camille being annoying, which lead to me overhearing you talking to her, and irrationally freaking out about it."

"Had I told you about her yet?" Magnus asked.

"Nope," Alec said. "Which was the main reason I freaked. I hadn't thought once before then, how much older than me you were, and how many more people you'd been with. I worried that I didn't matter to you as much as you mattered to me."

"That makes sense," Magnus acknowledged.

"Past you didn't really agree," Alec laughed. "I ended up fighting for my life just hours later, and when you turned up on the scene, you freaked out and started checking me for injuries. At the time I was cranky and snapped at you."

"How rude!" Magnus laughed. "Clearly I was worried."

"You were," Alec said. "But me snapping, lead to you telling me exactly what I needed to hear."

"Oh and how is that?"

"I said tough, you fell for a Shadowhunter, and we fight demons," Alec recounted. "Next time fall for an accountant, or something to that effect." Alec paused to smile at the memory. "Then you looked at me intently, and said 'There isn't going to be a next time', and then you said you'd never be ready to let me go. Not now, and not in sixty years." Magnus's eyes were wide, and if Alec knew the warlock at all he knew Magnus was thinking about the reason he'd lost his memories. "And then you kissed me on a rooftop with people all around us."

"I've never thought that before," Magnus breathed. "In all the centuries of my life, I've never said that to anyone."

"Now can you understand why I fought so hard to hold you here with me?" Alec asked, his arms around Magnus squeezing slightly as he spoke.

"Yes," Magnus whispered.

"The rest of our story is me messing up, you dumping me, and then me being too lovestruck to do anything but follow you into hell," Alec summed up. "When I found you in Edom, even though we were broken up, and maybe about to die, the first thing you did when you saw me was pull me down and kiss me."

"I was clearly delusional," Magnus said, but there was a catch in his voice that made Alec think Magnus was a little overwhelmed.

"We can change the topic if you like," Alec whispered.

"I still don't understand," Magnus said, not taking Alec up on his offer. "When did I tell you all about my past."

"That was the reason we broke up," Alec said. "I couldn't handle being held at arm's length by you. Not knowing your past, not knowing how you became who you are, made me crazy."

"Crazy how?" Magnus asked.

"Well I started going to see Camille to get information about you," Alec said. "She was less than helpful though, she did offer to try and take your mortality away for me."

"Were you tempted?" Magnus asked.

"I won't lie and say I wasn't," Alec said. "She wanted me to kill Raphael in exchange but I couldn't do that, and I couldn't take the choice from you in the end."

"You must have been happy when I told you how I lost my memories," Magnus surmised.

"I wasn't unhappy," Alec said. "But Magnus, I long ago accepted you as you are. Mortal or immortal, you are all I want."

"Why did I do it then?" Magnus asked, though he seemed to me asking himself more than Alec.

"I have no idea," Alec whispered. "Though you did tell me once, you'd considered it."

"I guess now I'll never know," Magnus sighed.

"Is there no way to get your memories back?" Alec asked.

"None I am aware of," Magnus replied. "The way I lost them… I know of no way to retrieve memories from a demon, especially ones that were given as payment."

"Even if he tricked you?" Alec asked.

"That makes no difference," Magnus said. "They have been swollened up just the same, impossible to get at."

"Memories or no, I still have you," Alec whispered as he leaned down to kiss Magnus's forehead. Magnus turned in Alec's arms to face him.

"And you really don't care what I become?" Magnus asked, Alec shook his head smiling. "There is nothing to research. No way to know."

"Doesn't matter," Alec said easily as he stroked Magnus's face with the back of his hand. Magnus let out an anxious breath, and settled again into Alec's arms.

"So are you moving back in?" Alec asked after a moment's silence. Magnus's only reply was to wave his hands. When the blue sparks vanished Alec could clearly see Magnus's suitcase over the end of the bed. He smiled.

"Oh wait," Magnus said, suddenly stressed. "Maybe I shouldn't do magic. Maybe it will make everything worse."

"It hasn't so far," Alec said soothingly.

"What if doing magic is too hard on my weak mortal body?" Magnus said quickly sitting up, clearly agitated.

"Magnus," Alec said softly as he gently pulls the warlock back into the encircle of his arms. "Relax."

"I can't," Magnus sighed, but he allowed himself to be held. Alec tried to sync up their breathing, in an effort to relax Magnus.

"Yes you can," Alec said, holding Magnus tight against his chest. "Live in the moment, my love."

"Is that how nephilim live?" Magnus asked.

"Yes, I think so," Alec replied.

"I have always prided myself on trying to live in the now," Magnus whispered after a moment. "I knew I had eternity spread out before me, so I put effort into not petrifying."

"When you met me," Alec whispered. He knew this sounded arrogant coming from him, but Magnus couldn't remember, and he needed to know. "You were petrifying. You told me after we escaped your father. You said I saved your life long before Edom. And that was when you asked me if I wanted to get back together, and you gave me a journal filled with your past. I moved into this apartment two weeks later."

"Wow," Magnus whispered. "Without you I'd have petrified anyway. I guess that puts things into perspective a little." Alec turned Magnus again in his arms and kissed the warlock. They were both spent, but they were also both naked in bed kissing. Alec could feel Magnus's hands running over his skin, and returned the favour with enthusiasm. After everything they'd been through, they had earned a day spent naked together in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. as I beta rightly said this is just a fluff chapter, but I decided that was okay since this story has been non-stop intense since the third paragraph. Time for some empty happy Malec feels I think. Hence an entire chapter of Magnus and Alec in bed together. :D I hope you like it.
> 
> Sneak Peek Chapter 6
> 
> "Yes you insisted on wearing a sari," Alec sighed. They'd spent the last hour looking over memories together. Every pieces of physical evidence of their time together, most of which consisted of their travels through Europe.
> 
> "I can see that," Magnus chuckled. "You don't look happy about it."
> 
> "I was trying not to be embarrassed," Alec smiled.
> 
> "Trying and failing I see," Magnus added.
> 
> "I had just come out of the closet a week before," Alec defended himself. Magnus laughed lightly.
> 
> This story is almost over guys. Now its just tidying up lose ends. On the plus side I can FINALLY start uploading the Malec story I started months ago whenever this story ends!


	6. Time

Alec sat on the couch with Magnus beside him. His laptop was open with an image of Magnus, during their trip to India.

"Yes, you insisted on wearing a sari," Alec sighed. They'd spent the last hour looking over memories together. Every piece of physical evidence of their time together, most of which consisted of their travels through Europe.

"I can see that," Magnus chuckled. "You don't look happy about it."

"I was trying not to be embarrassed," Alec smiled.

"Trying, and failing, I see," Magnus added.

"I had just come out of the closet a week before," Alec defended himself. Magnus laughed lightly.

"I haven't asked you," Magnus said, his tone turning serious. "How did your parents take it?"

"Not well at first," Alec replied easily. "But, they got over it."

"I can't imagine Maryse taking it well," Magnus said. "I have known her a long time."

"You knew her before I was born," Alec confirmed. "I think I was just about a year old when you saw her with the circle."

"It's so strange," Magnus observed. "To hear you say those things in such a calm and casual way."

"Time heals," Alec shrugged.

"But it didn't heal you," Magnus said. "When I left- I mean- you didn't get better."

"That's different," Alec said, looking into Magnus's gleaming cat's eyes. He could read the question in those eyes so he continued, "You were just suddenly gone, and I was so confused... but at least I knew you were alright. When you were being held by your father, I didn't know if you were alive or dead." Alec shivered as he remember. "I was broken."

"It seems I was too," Magnus replied softly. "From what you've told me, and what I can remember."

"What do you remember?" Alec asked.

"Being chained," Magnus said, after a moment. "I remember being miserable, but I don't remember you arriving to save me."

"You thought only Clary came to save you right?" Alec asked.

"Yeah, and I remember Simon," Magnus said. "He gave up his memories, and became human so I wouldn't be a pile of ashes."

"But you helped him get a few of his memories back," Alec comforted him. "He's at the Shadowhunter Academy now, and he will have his memories back when he ascends."

"Izzy would like that," Magnus smiled.

"So, you remember her feelings for him?" Alec asked.

"Yes," Magnus replied. "At Jocelyn's wedding, she stayed back. It seemed like she didn't care, but I knew she cared more than the others."

"I was your date to that wedding," Alec added. Magnus smiled, and Alec could read in his eyes that Magnus had guessed this already. Alec laughed. They'd talked so much about their past at this point, Magnus was starting to understand. Alec wondered how long it would be until it slipped his mind that Magnus's memories were gone.

"How is Simon doing?" Magnus asked.

"Better," Alec said. "Though Izzy said their dates over the summer didn't go well."

"Not well how?" Magnus asked.

"Just awkward, and didn't flow I guess," Alec said. "Though she seems happier just having him be more receptive."

"I hope she isn't discouraged?" Magnus replied.

"Oh no," Alec laughed. "That isn't in her nature. She is sending him a letter, and she is sure enough of his answer that she is going to be there when he opens the letter."

"That sister of yours is something else," Magnus smiled.

"I am sure they will find their way back to each other," Alec said confidently.

"Like we did?" Magnus whispered. Alec beamed at him, then leaned forward to kiss Magnus. The rest of the day passed in joyous nostalgia with the man he loved. Alec thought he could do this forever, just be with Magnus. But life did eventually make a reappearance in the form of his parabatai.

Jace arrived at the apartment about twenty minutes after Alec texted him, explaining that Magnus had returned and everything was fine. Jace burst through the doors and glared at Magnus who thankfully was looking the other way.

"Whoa!" Alec said jumping up to remove Jace before Magnus saw him.

"I have a bone to pick with him," Jace grumbled.

"No, you don't," Alec said firmly. He was secure in his belief that Magnus wasn't going to leave again, but that didn't mean he wanted Jace to upset Magnus.

"He left you!" Jace yelled. "And not like before. You guys didn't break up, he just left after everything you two have been through!"

"He was scared," Alec said. "He lost all his memories, it's understandable. Chill Jace!" Jace took a deep breath and stopped fighting Alec's grip on his shoulders, but he still looked mad.

"Alright," Jace grumbled. Alec released his friend but remained on alert.

"Who was at the door?" Magnus's voice called from the other room. Alec could hear Magnus approaching, and let his arms fall to his sides before the warlock could see.

"Jace came to see for himself that you were back," Alec explained calmly.

"Yeah," Jace agreed, though he wasn't convincing. "And don't be surprised if Izzy does the same thing." Alec groaned and covered his face with his hands. Just what he needed.

"Alright," Magnus said slowly, clearly confused. And sure enough, Isabelle arrived less than ten minutes later, but to Alec's great relief she didn't look mad.

"I kissed Simon!" Izzy chirped as she danced into the room. Jace was staring at her with the strangest expression, and Alec knew exactly how Jace felt. Izzy didn't chirp.

"That's wonderful," Magnus told her.

"We made out for hours!" Izzy giggled as she collapsed dramatically onto Magnus's couch.

"When did my apartment become a Shadowhunter headquarters?" Magnus asked the room at large.

"It's a wayward home for Shadowhunters," Izzy corrected him. "If you are going to quote yourself, do it right."

"Alexander," Magnus sighed. "Your family confuses me."

"I know the feeling," Alec laughed. Jace studied Alec's face for a moment, then seemed to decide Alec was happy and let his own revenge plan go. Alec relaxed. He knew Jace was just being himself, but he really didn't need that drama.

After that, Alec spent a easy afternoon with his siblings and his boyfriend. It felt strange to simply call Magnus his boyfriend. The warlock meant so much more to him than that, but Alec wasn't about to move too fast with a Magnus who didn't have his memories. He wasn't even sure he'd have the guts to propose if Magnus was his old self. Alec put the idea from his mind for now.

When Maia and Lily appeared at their front door a few days later, Magnus seemed to assume they were there to see the High Warlock. He approached them, and inquired as to what he could do for them. Magnus was very surprised when they asked for Alec.

"When you were gone Alec solved our mermaid problem," Maia explained as the two girls got comfortable in the living room.

"I see," Magnus replied. "Well in that case I shall leave you to it." Magnus kissed Alec goodbye, and then went off into his office while Alec, Maia, and Lily got to work. His work with Maia and Lily wasn't a distraction from his pain anymore, but Alec still enjoyed being useful.

When Alec and Magnus attended Helen and Aline's wedding, he couldn't help but think about the future again. Two women were getting married in gold. Maybe what he wanted wasn't so impossible. Magnus could never take a wedding rune, but that didn't matter so much really. Alec knew Tessa had worn her wedding rune on a piece of jewelry when she'd married William Herondale, a hundred and thirty years ago.

Alec didn't say a word though and when the wedding ended, Izzy was too busy telling him her story of rescuing Simon in faerie land, and meeting Mark Blackthorn to think anymore of it.

They returned home from the wedding to a message for Magnus. Rather than read over his boyfriend's shoulder, Alec walked past Magnus and into the other room.

"Caterina wants me to teach at the Shadowhunter Academy," Magnus called to Alec. "But she is talking like they've already asked me once."

"Oh that's because they have," Alec called back as he made his way over to Magnus. Alec had observed over the years that when you lived with someone, talking to them from different areas in the house like this happened often. "While you were gone. Sorry, I forgot to tell you."

"She says I owe her since she took all that time away from teaching to learn what happened to my memories," Magnus said.

"Well, she is kinda right," Alec said.

"The semester had barely started," Magnus defended himself. "And technically, I didn't ask her to. You did."

"Fine, I owe her," Alec sighed. "Though you benefited, so let's just agree we owe her, and go help out."

"Ragnor was always the better teacher," Magnus said.

"Just a guest lecture or two isn't like full time teaching or anything," Alec said. "You do have a unique perspective to offer the students."

"That's true," Magnus agreed. Alec knew appealing to his ego was the best way to get Magnus to agree.

Clary came over not long before they left for Alicante to tell them about the parabatai ceremony she'd witnessed, and her plans to become parabatai with Simon once he ascended. Alec was happy for her, but he was also happy for Simon. Alec just wasn't sure how to talk to Simon. He knew he would have to get over this though, as he'd likely run into Simon at the Academy. Though Robert was living in Alicante at the moment, Alec decided against a visit since his parents had been even less keen on Magnus, since Magnus's memory loss.

Since Magnus had moved back in, he'd insisted on reducing the amount of magic he did despite Alec's efforts to assure him that it likely made no difference. So, though Magnus portaled them close, he was happy to walk the rest of the way.

"You doing less magic is rather strange," Alec said as they walked.

"How so?" Magnus asked.

"Well, usually I am the one telling you it's better to pay for coffee then magically thieve it."

"That attitude would seem to fit your character," Magnus observed.

"Low key really doesn't fit yours," Alec said. "Remember when Caterina first discovered you'd lost your memories?" Magnus nodded. "She didn't sense anything physically wrong with you apart from the memory loss, so I don't think less or more magic will effect anything."

"I do miss stolen coffee," Magnus mused.

"Okay, maybe stick to paying for coffee," Alec backtracked, and Magnus laughed. "It doesn't taste any better if you steal it you know." Magnus chuckled.

"Caterina is at this school," Magnus said. "If anyone knows enough about warlock healing magic to know what is what, it's her. I'll ask."

"Thanks," Alec smiled at him. Mortal or not, he wanted Magnus to feel like himself again, and that meant Magnus being comfortable doing magic.

When they entered the castle, Alec found himself meeting students who knew rather a lot about it. It was slightly disconcerting.

"Now you know how I felt," Magnus laughed, as they walked together up the stairs to the attic room they would be staying in during their visit.

"Ah no," Alec countered. "That was totally different. That was hero worship where worship shouldn't be."

"You did survive a demon hell dimension," Magnus reminded him.

"I went to rescue you," Alec reminded Magnus.

"And in doing so ended the Dark War," Magnus argued as they climbed the stairs.

"Clary did that," Alec disagreed, but they had reached the room, and Magnus's attention was suddenly otherwise occupied.

"This room is horrible," he said. "We are supposed to live here for two weeks!?"

"It looks like the rest of the place really," Alec added. "This whole academy needs major repairs."

"This is impossible," Magnus exclaimed. "We are canceling the trip."

"I have a better idea," Alec said, turning to face Magnus. "Why don't you magically repair the room?"

"Alexander," Magnus said, deflating. "I don't- I mean I haven't-"

"You haven't talked to Caterina yet, I know," Alec whispered, gently touching Magnus's face. "But it's okay." Alec thought for a moment about the irony of this situation. If Magnus was his normal self, Alec would have likely been the one complaining that Magnus summoned half a grocery store without paying for it.

"Alright," Magnus whispered. He turned to face the room, and with a wave of his hands blue sparks began to flow, cleaning windows, repairing cracks in the walls and, with a gentle thud, stocking the fridge.

"How do you feel?" Alec asked him.

"I feel fine," Magnus said. "I think."

"Told you," Alec smiled at him. He kissed Magnus sweetly, then went about exploring their new accommodations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have been fitting this story into the events of the Shadowhunter Academy series last night if you haven't noticed. Also I have the next chapter basically finished. I think this story will have a total of 8 chapters then I will upload the first chapter of my yet to be named Malec fantasy AU.
> 
> Sneak Peek Ch 7:
> 
> The cries continued for hours and hours; Alec forgot about the rest of the world. The infant's cries had drown everything out. The sun was setting by the time the cries finally stopped. The baby was laying on their bed and Alec lay down beside him half asleep already.
> 
> When Alec awoke, he was fairly sure he hadn't slept long. It was dark outside but what frightened Alec was that Magnus was gone. Alec quickly looked around the rooms and when he could find Magnus no where he gathered up the sleeping child in his arms and left the attic suit.


	7. Promises

Alec and Magnus hadn't been at the Academy long when Simon burst into their attic room to tell them a warlock baby had been abandoned on the front steps. Alec thanked the Angel Simon had chosen that time to interrupt them. If Simon had arrived even ten minutes earlier, neither Magnus or Alec would have been wearing clothes, and the last thing Alec wanted was a bad second first impression with Simon.

Magnus lept into action right away, Alec followed both him and Simon down the stairs, and into the entrance hall. When Alec saw the small blue baby in the arms of a woman who clearly worked at the school, he couldn't help but smile.

"Can I hold him?" Alec asked, and the women handed the child over. The baby's skin was navy blue but apart from that he was just a baby with curious eyes and tiny hands. The soft material of Alec's faded sweater seemed to sooth the him. The little blue baby had been making unhappy noises, but they suddenly stopped when Alec held him. Alec gazed down the baby in his arms, and the baby gazed back at him. Alec was stunned that the baby had settled into his arms so effortlessly. Alec couldn't take his eyes off the infant's face.

"Simon was right. He is a warlock and would not be able to pass for a mundane," Magnus said, standing over Alec's shoulder. "His mother clearly does not want him. He is in a nest of the Nephilim, and I cannot think among faeries, Shadowhunters, or werewolves where in the world a child like this could possibly belong."

Alec could think of somewhere this child belonged, but he could hear the strain in Magnus's voice. He could image only too well what this reminded Magnus of his own infancy. He'd passed for a mundane for years, but the moment he was discovered, he too had been abandoned. Alec shifted the baby's weight in his arms so he could put his hand on Magnus's shoulder. He wanted to take away the fraying edge in Magnus's voice, wanted to reassure him. Alec always hated thinking about Magnus as a scared lonely child.

"Should we contact the Clave and put this matter before them, or what?" It was a woman who had spoken. She was probably in charge of the school from the commanding way she spoke. Alec had a sudden desire to protect the child in his arms from her and the Clave, from everything. But before he could speak, Magnus took charge.

"I do not intend to leave a warlock child to the tender mercies of the Clave," Magnus declared, his voice extremely cold. Alec was suddenly filled with hope. Maybe it had been long enough, maybe Magnus was ready for this too?

"We can take care of him upstairs for now," Alec said. "Don't call the Clave." She seemed happy to have the problem taken off her hands, and Alec was relieved. He suspected the baby was less than a year old. His eyes were open and curious about the world. Alec walked with the child still in his arms, back to the attic. He could hear Magnus follow behind him. The hope in Alec's chest was adjacent to the crushing fear. Alec walked into the attic suite, his thoughts a jumbled mess.

When the baby started to cry, Alec's great plans of talking to Magnus about this were drown out. Alec tried everything, he picked the baby up and started walking back and forth, rocking him and murmuring softly. But the baby kept crying. Somewhere in Alec's mind - almost drowned out by the child's screams - was the horrible thought that he wasn't doing something right.

"Maybe he's hungry," Alec said. "Would you mind magiking up him something to eat?" Magnus did, but Alec was worried about what his boyfriend was thinking. There was no energy to worry though, as once the child finished eating, he was crying again. Alec never put the baby down. He just walked back and forth holding him, trying to comfort the poor soul who had been abandoned by the person he wanted more than anything. His mother. Alec couldn't be a mother. He was so overwhelmed, all he wanted was to sooth the child's cries.

The cries continued for hours and hours; Alec forgot about the rest of the world. The infant's cries drown everything out. The sun was setting by the time the cries finally stopped. The baby finally fell asleep, laying on their bed, and Alec lay down beside him half asleep before his head hit the pillow.

When Alec awoke, he was fairly sure he hadn't slept long. It was dark outside, but that hardly mattered before Magnus was gone. Instantly worried, Alec jumped up and looking for him in their attic suit. Magnus wasn't there, so Alec gathered up the sleeping child in his arms and left, headed down the stairs. Alec found Magnus quickly. He'd been walking back up the stairs, and Alec's intense relief almost made him drop the baby.

"Magnus!" Alec exclaimed.

"Don't wake the thing!" Magnus whispered, and Alec realized how loudly he'd spoke. Magnus's word for the baby wasn't reassuring. Alec didn't say a word though as he and Magnus went back to their room together.

"Where did you go?" Alec asked once they were alone again in their room. Alec placed the thankfully still sleeping child back on their bed.

"Walking," Magnus said, flatly.

"Walking where?" Alec asked.

"You want to adopt this child don't you?" Magnus said, and though it was phrase liked a question where was no doubt in Magnus's voice.

"Am I that obvious?" Alec mumbled.

"Yes and no," Magnus replied. "If you hadn't once passionately yelled at me about the future you wanted, I might not have clued in so easily."

"Oh right," Alec said sheepishly.

"Doesn't this scare you?" Magnus asked, and Alec thought about it. This did scare him a lot, but he suspected not for the same reasons as Magnus.

"Yes," Alec replied. "But what I'm scared of is letting him down. I'm scared I won't be enough. That I won't be a good parent."

"Ah," Magnus replied, and Alec was glad to see him smiling. "Well your fears are silly."

"Are what?" Alec asked taken aback.

"I have known you for only a matter of months," Magnus started. "At least from my perspective, but I am sure of one thing, you are enough. Everyone replies on you more than you realize, Alec. I've watched you always try and be more for those you love. Letting people down isn't something I believe you to be capable of."

"Thanks," Alec mumbled, unsure what else to say. That was everything he needed to hear. All his fears put to rest at once.

"And," Magnus said shyly. "I love you. Me. Not old me, or past me, but me as I am now." A smile spread across Alec's face as he leaned forward to kiss Magnus. This was why he'd been so worried. Magnus had come back and he hadn't expected much to start, but in the months since, Magnus had never said those words back to him.

"You know I love you too," Alec said just because.

"I know," Magnus replied, with a slight laugh as he pressed his forehead to Alec's. They stayed like that for a moment before Magnus whispered, "Oh god I never thought I'd be in this situation."

"What do you mean?" Alec asked, leaning away to look the warlock in the eyes.

"I have heard the stories but I don't remember how we got to where we are," Magnus said slowly. "What I remember is that in all the centuries of my life, I have never once thought of raising a child. Warlocks are infertile but that isn't the only reason. Immortality means watching the people around you die and I didn't want-"

"To see that in children you raised," Alec finished for him. "I understand, but Magnus this child's a warlock. He won't grow old."

"I will though," Magnus whispered.

"So will I," Alec added as he pulled Magnus close. "Where is it written that mortal parents can't raise an immortal child?"

"As you know, I have thought about having a family before," Alec said. "A family with you, but I want more than that. I want to marry you Magnus."

"I know," Magnus replied. "But it's impossible. We can't get married in gold."

"I don't care what colours are involved," Alec smiled. "A mundane wedding, a downworlder wedding, or a shadowhunter one. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter though. I don't want to have a ceremony other's will look down on," Magnus said. "I've seen Shadowhunters dismiss marriages like what ours would be as nothing, and I've seen some Shadowhunters bow under that pressure and break the vows they made."

"That won't happen to us," Alec said. "No matter how we are married, it would mean as much to me as a shadowhunter wedding. Any promises I made to you I'd keep."

"I do not want you to have any less than the ceremony you could have had, if you had chosen a shadowhunter to marry," Magnus said.

"You know," Alec said, unable to keep the smile off his face. "You have given me this choice before."

"I have?" Magnus asked, Alec nodded.

"When we got back together on that rooftop," Alec said. "I thought about how much easier it would be to love someone else."

"You could marry with runes then," Magnus agreed. "Like Aline and Helen."

"Yes," Alec said. "But what matters to me isn't the runes. It's you and me, together, forever."

"Forever isn't possible," Magnus replied.

"Technically yes," Alec said. "But the rest of our lives can be our forever, and this child our legacy."

"Don't you want the laws to change?" Magnus asked. "So we could marry in gold?"

"I do," Alec said. "But I'd rather marry you now and worry about fixing the laws later. We could renew our vows on our 50th anniversary in gold."

"Oh god! I hope the laws don't take fifty years to change!"

"Is that a yes then?" Alec asked, and Magnus looked at him with that same intense affection he remembered so well from before his memories were lost.

"Yes to it all," Magnus said, joyfully as he moved forward to sweep Alec into his arms. After a romantic kiss they settled down in the bed, both of them on either side of their baby, their son.

They were interrupted only a half hour later by the arrival of Alec's sister. She entered the room with great energy and started baby proofing the place, explaining that she knew exactly what was going to happen the moment Simon told her about the baby. Alec tried very hard to make sure this all didn't overwhelm Magnus, but failed miserable when his parents arrived. When Maryse and Robert suggested the child's name be Max, Alec wanted to cry. It was perfect.

His parents gave them endless advice, and were even happy to be in the same room together so long as baby Max was there. This hadn't happened since their divorce, and it warmed Alec's heard to see his parents play with their grandson.

"That was quite a gesture on your parents part," Magnus said once they were alone again.

"Max Lightwood-Bane," Alec smiled. "Yes it was. Do you like the name?"

"Yes," Magnus replied. "I don't remember your little brother, but I am honoured they'd share his name with us."

"You actually never met him," Alec explained.

The following day Simon arrived to see Alec while Magnus was out talking to Caterina. Alec was worried about Magnus, but at the same time, too tired from the sleepless night with Max to think straight. Alec sat with Max in his lap, and Simon sat across from him. Alec hadn't a clue what to say.

"So," Alec said when the silence became too much. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I'm sorry," Simon said, after another silence. "I'm sorry for whatever it is that went wrong between us. Whatever you're angry about. I honestly don't remember, but I do remember how you are when you're angry, and I don't want things to be like that between us. I remember you don't like Clary."

"I like Clary. Clary's one of my best friends," Alec said, too sleep deprived to understand what the hell Simon was talking about.

"Oh," Simon said. "I'm sorry. I thought I remembered . . . I must have gotten it wrong." Then the guilt hit him. Alec knew exactly what Simon had remembered. He didn't use to like Clary. It felt like a lifetime ago that Alec had been jealous of Jace's interest in her. The look on Simon's face was so confused. Alec took a deep breath, and then he told Simon he'd been scared Clary would tell people he was gay. This was not his favorite topic, but he did his best. Simon still looked mad however, so Alec tried to explain better.

"I know now that Clary would never have done that," Alec continued. "Heck she never even told Jace, and he'd have punched me for sure."

"So you like Clary," Simon said, clearly still confused. "I'm the only one you don't like." Alec's guilt compounded tenfold. Simon thought Alec didn't like him. It was a cruel sort of irony, and it was Alec's fault for not coming to visit Simon. Max's presence in his arms grounded him. Alec owed Simon better that this. He owed Simon everything, but he hated talking about it. Alec's free hand was absently playing with Max's hands when he finally spoke.

"What did you do?" Alec said. "You saved Magnus's life." He paused, trying to find the words to tell Simon what he should have told Simon ages ago. "You saved my sister's life. You did everything I set out to do Simon. You protected the people I love, the people I should have protected." He paused, steeling himself to continue. This was hard to admit. "I owe you everything, and yet I gave you nothing in return. When we first met I wasn't kind to you. And then once I owed you everything you were gone, only to be half returned to us. I just didn't know how to talk to you. I still don't, as I owe you more than I could ever repay."

"Oh," Simon said. "Wow." Then after a pause added. "So you don't hate me, and you don't hate Clary. You don't hate anyone."

"I hate people forcing me to talk about my feelings," Alec laughed with relief. He really did. He could feel the stress his confession had created in his body. But somehow it hadn't been as bad as he'd thought it would be. Having Max in his arms made it more bearable.

Simon grinned at Alec and Alec smiled back, relieved.

"I'm sorry that I made you think I was mad at you," Alec said. "Just because I didn't know what to say."

"It's okay," Simon said, waving his hand. "Call it even."

"Thanks," Alec said. "But I still owe you." He smiled. Simon just waved his hand dismissively again.

"I will let you get back to your baby," Simon said. "I am glad we talked."

"Me too," Alec said. Simon got up and made to leave, but when he opened the door Alec's parents were standing there. They entered the room and immediately fussing over Max. Alec beamed at them as his sleep deprived brain marveled for a moment at the fact that he had everything. He was engaged to the love of his life, and had a child who had managed to bewitch both his parents so completely. And he had finally talked to Simon.

Magnus returned to the attic suit a few hours later. Alec studied his face intently, but couldn't figure out what Caterina had said. Alec tried to put it from his mind as he enjoyed the afternoon with his family. Maryse and Robert fought over who got to hold the baby. Alec basically fell asleep in an armchair, and Magnus put a blanket over him.

Alec didn't completely fall asleep though. He heard the casual conversation between his fiance and his parents as they got ready to leave. It was so wonderful that his parents had let go of their problems with Magnus for leaving when his memories were gone. Alec suspected the reason was baby Max, but no matter the reason, he was just glad.

"Don't cry," Alec heard Magnus say softly to the baby. "And don't spit up on my shirt. If you do either of those things, I will forgive you, but I will be upset. I want us to get along."

Through his closed eyelids, Alec saw bright blue light. He smiled knowing this meant that Magnus was doing magic.

"I knew we were going to get along," Magnus cooed, and Alec finally drifted off to sleep. If Magnus was doing magic like that, he'd talked to Caterina and the news was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an adapted version of the canon story 'Born to an Endless Night' though I also used my Alec' pov version of 'Born to an Endless Night' from my Malec POV of TMI story chapter title 'Blue Bundle of Joy.' I say adapted because the only real differences are that Magnus doesn't have his memories and he's aging. If you're read Born to an Endless Night lots of this will be familiar to you and a few of the lines of dialogue are the same or similar. As I said adapted canon with just those two changes.
> 
> The next chapter is a ten years later epilogue. I have started uploading my new Malec Fantasy AU so don't be too sad this ones over. The new story is called 'Royal Dilemma' and chapter one went online yesterday. Chapter two will follow very soon. This story is rather different than my other ones and I'm very excited about it. Please go read it and tell me what you think! :D
> 
> Royal Dilemma Summary:  
> Alec is the heir to the throne and that comes with responsibilities, but what do you do when your duty and your moral compass clash? The throne need an heir, but the only person Alec has eyes for is not only a man but also cursed with a demon's mark.
> 
> Sneak Peek Chapter 8-Epilogue
> 
> "What's for dinner love?" Magnus asked as he joined Alec in the kitchen.
> 
> "Nothing special," Alec said as he gestured to simple dish in front of him.
> 
> "It's always special when you make it," Magnus disagreed. Alec turned in Magnus's arms to kiss his husband. He then pulled away to stare at Magnus's face. The first hints of lines had appeared around his eyes. Alec's traced them with his fingers.
> 
> "You don't have to remind me," Magnus whined. "I know I'm getting ugly."
> 
> "Not at all," Alec replied as he gently kissed each of Magnus's wrinkles. When Magnus opened his eyes again he in turn traced the subtle lines on Alec's face. It had been almost ten years since they'd adopted Max so their faces weren't much altered. It was just enough however to notice a difference, a maturity about their features.


	8. Eplilogue

Two screaming children ran down the hall, the smaller navy blue boy trailing behind his older brother. Alec was sitting comfortably on the couch trying to get up the energy to go make dinner, but it seemed he had no choice now but to get up and tend to the squabbles of the children.

"Max took my stele," Rafe whined to his father.

"Rafe wouldn't let me play with it!" Max argued.

"You could hurt yourself," Rafe reminded his brother. "Runes aren't good for warlocks."

"Doesn't mean I can't draw on the wall," Max objected as he reached forward to snatch the stele back. Suddenly there was a bang, and all three of them were thrown four feet apart. Alec groaned. Children with magic meant a whole different range of parenting problems. Max now had the stele in question, and Alec quickly confiscated it before his son could do more accidental magic.

"I am going to take this for a while," Alec said. "And you two can take this up with Papa when he gets home." The two boys grumbled but peace was restored.

They had adopted Rafe only a few years after Max. Rafael was his full name. He'd been named after Magnus's old friend who died during the war. Rafe was a shadowhunter from Buenos Aires, Argentina so he had darker skin tone much like Magnus. Suffice to say their family portrait didn't match in the slightest, but who said the only aging warlock in history, the first opening gay nephilim, a blue skinned warlock, and a South American orphan couldn't be a family? The answer to that question was, of course, the Clave but they couldn't do a thing about it and they knew it. Alec loved his strange little family, and he wouldn't change it for the world. To him, they were perfect.

The crisis now solved, Alec turned to stare at the couch again. He could get back to his book, but he really should start making dinner. Alec could hear his sons happily returned to their game. He smiled. It was natural for siblings to squabble, and he was happy they both had that experience in their lives. Alec couldn't imagine what being an only child felt like, but he knew having a brother was like having a best friend for life.

Alec took a moment to look around his apartment, or rather Magnus's loft, since it was still the same place he'd moved into only two weeks after surviving hell. All Alec's favourite memories seemed to be tied up in this place, but also some of his worst ones, the day Magnus had left, thinking he'd intended to forget Alec. Though looking back on it, these days Alec wondered if maybe the first time Magnus had dumped it, hadn't been worse. It was idle thought, and Alec knew he was just procrastinating making dinner.

With a sigh, Alec head to the kitchen and looked through the cupboards for something simple to make. He was well over halfway through cooking it when he heard Magnus arrive home. He didn't need to turn and look to know both boys had instantly approached Magnus to solve their stele problem. Alec smiled as he listened to Magnus easily sooth the children. Magnus hadn't been very confident he would do well with kids before they'd adopted Max. Magnus had second guessed himself often, and leaned heavily on Alec in the beginning. It always warmed Alec's heart to see how far Magnus had come, though it hadn't taken Magnus long to pick up parenting, it still made Alec smile.

"What's for dinner, love?" Magnus asked as he joined Alec in the kitchen, both kids having run off to play.

"Nothing special," Alec said as he gestured to the pot of pasta boiling next to the tomato sauce and meatballs that was currently on the stove.

"It's always special when you make it," Magnus disagreed. Alec turned in Magnus's arms to kiss his husband. He then pulled away to stare at Magnus's face. The first hints of lines had appeared around his eyes. Alec's traced them with his fingers.

"You don't have to remind me," Magnus whined. "I know I'm getting ugly."

"Not at all," Alec replied as he gently kissed each of Magnus's wrinkles. When Magnus opened his eyes again, he in turn traced the subtle lines on Alec's face. It had been almost ten years since they'd adopted Max, so their faces weren't much altered. It was just enough however, to notice a difference, a maturity about their features.

"It is quite something to physically change with someone like this," Magnus sighed as he pressed his forehead to Alec's.

"Something good?"

"I think so," Magnus said. "I do sometimes wish I could know what I'd been thinking when I made this choice. Aside from wanting to be with you, I mean." He paused and pulled his head back to look at Alec. "But only sometimes."

"The rest of the time you are too busy refereeing brotherly squabbles," Alec smiled.

"Yes," Magnus laughed.

"So what was the solution this time?" Alec asked.

"I reminded Max he has magic lessons with me," Magnus said. "And Rafe gets rune lessons with you. Rafe doesn't get to play with potions, so Max doesn't get to play with stele's."

"Wise decision," Alec smiled as he went to set the table.

"Let me do that, darling," Magnus said, stopping Alec as he waved his hands and the table set itself with a slight shimmer of blue.

"If you were gonna do that anyway," Alec whined. "Then you could have just magicked up dinner so I didn't have to cook."

"Oh but where is the fun in that?" Magnus replied grinning. "When doing it this way means I get to see that adorable annoyed expression on your face." Alec rolled his eyes. "Besides you usually complain that I shouldn't steal food."

"Fine," Alec sighed. "Use my own morals against me when I'm tired."

"That's what I'm here for," Magnus grinned as he kissed Alec sweetly.

If an Angel fell from the heavens and gave Alec the chance to wish for anything, no matter how impossible, there isn't a single thing he'd ask for. Though Magnus's memories were never returned, and though his magic began to weaken as he aged, Alec had nothing to complain about.

Memories, mortality and magic didn't create love, nor could they prevent it.

Magnus might reference their early years together like a book he'd read one too many times instead of like a memory, but that didn't mean their love for each other was worth less. If anything Alec thought it was worth more. Alec wasn't the type to believe in soulmates, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't believe Magnus was his soulmate. The life they've lead together seemed intent on proving to Alec that no matter the world, situation, or universe he- Alexander Lightwood- belonged exclusively to Magnus Bane.

The End!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story but yeah its so time to end it. I got the idea for this story when I was absently thinking of plot concepts and I thought how about a memory loss Malec story. My two ideas were Alec loses memories to a demon during a fight or Magnus loses memories trying to become mortal. I quickly figured out the second one was far more interesting and started writing.
> 
> I thought it would be a one shot, but my one shot was quickly over 5,000 words so I cut it into two chapters. Then I wanted to include Caterina POV so I cut it into three chapters. Then I thought it needed a Malec gets back together Alec pov chapter after that so it became four chapters. (Side note: this is so far my ONLY Mortal Instrument or Malec story that hasn't included Magnus's POV.) Then I thought well plot over so the end but you guys wants more so I thought why not add a little adorable fluff.
> 
> BUT four fluff chapters is enough right! As my beta said they are starting to feel forced. Speaking of my beta reader a big thank you to her! Allieanna on fanfic edited this whole story for me. Believe me without her there would be oh so many typos and make far less sense. 
> 
> Please check out my new Malec story! it's called 'Royal Dilemma' and its a Malec Fantasy AU. I seem to always be updating at least two stories at all times these days... not sure how that happened by oh well. With this story marked complete now I am back to just updating two so yay! Much more manageable.
> 
> Please review and tell me what you think of this story. Even if its been online for ages and you have just binge read it in one go. :) Thanks.


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